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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

A Debutante's Ball with a Twist :-)

My daughter, Sophie, celebrated her 18th birthday last March 1.  In as much as, an 18th birthday party would have been an opportune time for everyone to come together in one venue  in perfectly manicured dresses and in crispy black ties, we didn't give her an expensive and flashy debutante's ball.  I know my daughter would have wanted something posh and elegant, and party all night with her college and high school friends but her mother have other things in mind :-).

I had my share of birthday parties when I was a little girl, but while growing up (but didn't notice it then), I came to appreciate more, small, intimate get-togethers  with my equally small family and very selected friends in a very relax venue where its OK to spill your beer on your not-really-perfect white shirt, no need to powder your nose each time, or go around, mingle and entertain everyone.   I've always hated the limelight, and all that attention you cannot figure ---  I sincerely despise scripted programs --- but I love the loud rowdy laughters of my cousins, watching our parents get cozy, mash with love our new babies, and engage in naughty conversations with old besties before everybody gets drunk and high with beer, coffee, chocolates and videoke.    A short guest list of special people in your life is still the bestest crowd to share a milestone in your life.

Aside from the love of the color purple, the visual appeal of strawberries, the strong affection to Tinkerbell, simple and quiet celebrations is just one of my many influences on my daughter.

March 1, 2015 was her "coming-out party".  And I believe she deserves more than just a choreographed cotillion ball.  First of March was her rite of passage, this day she stepped out of her comfort zone.  This day marked her formal introduction to a much bigger community.

Mom's date book @ the office

Mom's cover photo @ Mom's FB :)

Head over heels over leopard prints.  Her cake gotta look like this. 

what could be better than a Jollibee Party

We also helped decorate the venue.  Sophie here with her childhood friend, Les.

Balloon girls!

Ate Sophie played games with the girls.
(Picture taking is allowed only when taken from a distance and when the girls are at their backs.  Visitors are also not allowed to ask personal questions to the girls.)

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon --- and that was lovely.

This was better than 18 roses.

Brilliant than 18 candles.
Jollibee came to dance.
She's not too shy.

She really adores Jollibee.




During the first 6 months of my pregnancy, I bought my child, whose gender was still unknown to us, an Education Plan, for a 4-year course in an exclusive school.  I was 26 and the little life inside me was zero age.

You can say that it was part of my grand plan, not only to secure my child's future, but specifically to provide her/his quality education from an ivy league university, at least, for what this country can provide and what her/his parents can afford.

When a parent makes a decision like that it could possibly be more for self serving reasons.  All parents, regardless of social status, want the best for their children.  That would have been my primary consideration when I made that choice.

The Philippines, is my daughter's country of birth.  She presently lives in a nation where there is massive political, economic and social crises.  But Sophie has been placed in a more fortunate circumstance as compare to some girls her age.  Eighteen years, and she has been blessed with better opportunities, and that foremost is,  access to good education.   With God's grace, she would have better chances of a more stable life making her more capable to help her family, her community, her country.  The Philippines is burdened enough for a long period of time.  I think it is my Christian duty as a parent to raise a child who would be less of a liability and more of an asset to the society she belongs to.

My prayer is for my daughter to have that grateful heart that sees and appreciates all her blessings in life, big or small.  And so that out of the abundance of her heart she will be compassionate, and generous, and nurturing to lives other than hers.  I want her to understand that she has a responsibility to better herself  so that she would be able to care for her family, and her country and every life that's in it.

My daughter has not experienced poverty or any form of abuse.  She's only heard and seen all these from mass media.  She has not come face-to-face.   On her 18th birthday, in the company of those who love her dearly, we celebrated her young blissful life at  the Bahay Tuluyan ng mga Bata  sa Dasmarinas Home for Girls --- shared her blessings, entertained them, played with them, and no matter how temporary, at least made the girls forget their painful experiences of abuse and abandonment.  Hopefully, Sophie would take the cue from there, that she is blessed, and that she can make a difference.

In lieu of gifts, we asked our relatives to make non-cash donations to Bahay Tuluyan ng mga Bata sa Dasmarinas Home for Girls.  Readers of this blog are also encourage to do the same.  If you want to support the Home for Girls , please contact:

     BahayTuluyan ngMga Bata (Home for Girls)*
     DBB- B, Dasmarinas, Cavite
    Contact Person:  Ms. Brennie R. Sotto, Center Head
                               Ms. Tess Yadao/Ms. Al
                                046-4160579

*** *** ***

Bahay Tuluyan (Home for Girls) A residential rehabilitation facility of the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) designed for girls below 18 years old who are in difficult circumstances. The center aims to provide children with residential care and rehabilitation services in preparation for more appropriate family care management. Services of the center include social services; home life/group living service; educational service; health service; psychological and psychiatric service; moral and spiritual formation enhancement; recreational, sports and socio-civic services; after care, and follow up service

The Lasalian Community Development Center (LCDC)supports Bahay Tuluyan (Home for Girls).  LCDC  implements community development programs. It is an important resource of social transformation through the creation of meaningful, relevant and innovative community programs. It helps provide the University with accessible opportunities to sustain the Lasallian mission of uplifting the lives of the underprivileged through service, research and networking.

Sophia Clarisse V. Merza, is an incoming Junior at the De La Salle where she is taking up Tourism Management.

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