Holy Birth Week :)

Dinner date on a Holy Great Monday with CITEM friends. Monster pizza with EMD on Spy Wednesday. Family bonding on a Maundy Thursday. 21st of April.

It travelled all the way from Timog to Solar Homes. My dream, Pippi Longstocking cake. The first and the only in the Philippines. On my 41st, I bought myself an expensive marshamallow cake! Hurrayyy!!! Very very me. And btw, it’s purple, too.
(I realized how gratifying it is to buy yourself a cake. I looked weird and funny at first hahahah pero sobrang tuwang tuwa ako. I got the cake I wanted, in the look and package that I soooo desired hehehe .... uhmmm besides, I am really a weird and funny girl... so for all I care!)

Too many writings on my wall. My heartfelt thanks to my family and friends who sent in their “happy birthday greetings”.

Me such a little big girl so starry eyed with all my birthday presents and latest acquisitions: I’ve got a new purple plate that comes with a salad plate on rustic blue like coming out of the Renaissance period. A new fairy bling to wrap around my neck. Dainty cups for our hot choc’late. Steripods for Me and Soph (even with Dianini’s discouragement). A home spa foot massage ;), and my second batch of KJ ;) ;), and yes, free coffee grounds from Starbucks for my garden. Tita brought us her 50’s looking “Endless Love” bicycle. Looking old and ruggedly handsome in my garage. I also got a chance with Hanh’s last Monday, when school starts this June, Sophie will finally have a pepper spray .... :) ... Mommy knows best di ba naman.

I scrubbed clean my bathroom walls. It was a success. I’ve got fresh paint. Blue black on my toes.. We had ice cream on a Saturday. And hot chocolate on a Sunday. And lots of pasta in between.

Martha has to go. To give chance to Chuck and Heather. ;) Honestly, they don’t look pretty together. But sometimes, I guess, that’s just the way it’s meant to be. Disturbingly beautiful. My Afrikaan lovebirds. (LOL)

I’m packing for my next event. It’s about 4 hour drive from Manila. I hope to go the distance with Liz Gilbert. And start with Redd Quill's Mastretta. Van Draanen waiting for me.

In fairyland, I am Lark Ghillie Laurel Notchwood, and you are Faylinn Whim Lilac Bumblebottom. And uhhmmmm you don’t know this baby, but I have a good clear view of you from my bedroom window ;)

Life re-starts at 41

Hexagram 40

TAKING APART
Freedom is to be innocent.
Guilt is the most massive prison wall there is. It makes you do, think and be what others prescribe.
If you think yourself something should be done, then do it. If not, then don’t – and don’t let anyone point at you and make a feeling of guilt in you. And never do that yourself. Making guilt is a crime against life.
Stay free and leave free.

Old bad habits are to die for errrr I mean, hard to die … meaning. can’t wont go away just like that. May be because, we do them in routine practice as such they are not acquired overnight but a prolong period of time in strictly conventional set of procedure. Old bad habits is part of a complex tradition of one’s being. It becomes us. It is us. A criss-crossing cobwebs, an embodiment of life lived in addiction. :)

Like (1) my innate stubbornness. (2) My wicked twin sister who goes by the name Bad Temper. (3) I fall out. I drop 'em. I leave. (4) The scoresheet like sweet peach in my pocket … nah, I don’t write ‘em in water, I’ve got your records of wrong neatly tucked in my sleeves. I honor my word, and (5) don’t forget offenses and misdeeds. I am like a child innocent with a knife. I thirst for your blood, (6) I am vindictive. I make mistakes, too. (7) I won’t easily forgive you. I don’t forget.

Like that (1) big house with a big swimming pool for my mother. (2) A good quiet, non-combatant life in UP. (3) Six kids and a happy marrried life. (4) A satiable hunger for “Church”. (5) Sobriety and a clean pair of lungs  (6) the pinkiest of health. And that wishing, and mushing, and gnashing that (7) it did not happen at all amongst us. (8) BabyDanes™.

And dreams, one thing I have learned about them. Sometimes you get closer to them. Sometimes not at all. Sometimes they get to you but only in a totally different package. You may not have it all in fact, you risk to have none of it at all. But at the end of the zip line, it’s not a bad dream after all. It’s a good dream anyway. :) No need for a bungee jump! I always wake up. My feet secured on the ground. I still can do moonwalkin’ … Roger Rabbit waitin’ …

I recognize my flaws. I always try to correct them or fight them back (many times I'm not successful, many times it's short-lived.)

I love my dreams. They keep me insane, and grounded, too.
For whatever they are, that’s what they are for. Can you imagine a life without them? How then would have I known the difference between the perfect and the imperfect. Between hope and despair.

Hexagram 41

DIMINISHING
This is all.
Get rid of all conditioning and forms. You think you need them for being present in the world, for being visible, being you. But what they do is hiding you. They hide your soul, your essence, your creativity, and they can even destroy all this.
If you dare to be your naked self, you will be amazed how great and rich it is. Diminishing is augmenting. Only an empty cauldron can receive others and blessings.
Let go in order to find.

Who said, you're entitled only to one re-booth ... this journey continues.

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/fbx/?set=a.220649684615030.70723.100000099992542&l=e18271e5e3

Pre-41st birthday celeb, 18th April twenny eleven @ Jowee Pepeywonie Muwahhh ;)

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my friends know what can make me smile ... quirky plates, something purple, anything fairy, intimate dinners, a damned good company, and yeah even a stolen pic of bad laundry and scattered butt! salamat po. ;)


(a brief backgrounder: nagplano si wenggay. i tried to haggle for a date. may MFI ang CITEM. matapos ang patakbo ko, isang linggo naman ako sa Rosales. may Grade school reunion daw sya sa Bicol. si Redd Quill naman mainit ang ulo kasi hindi ako nagiingat sa emails ko at bakit pati ang "the late friends" and si "mr and mrs" kasama pa. Sabi ko whewww, sowi i didnt know, i didnt care, i jusz clicked "send all". Ishtupid me. Pasensya na tao lang. Hindi na po mauulit. What's done is done. Cannot recall what was sent anymore. Am sure, they also didnt know and didnt care, sabi ko. "Akala mo lang yun, anu ba!", sabi nya. Tama na. Deadma na, pwede po. Umiiling si Flororita. Siguro sa isip nya, ang nanay namin may pagka tanga lang talaga paminsan minsan sa ilang bagay bagay hayyyy ... si Mykee, na panabla.

Dapat kasi sa Shakeys na naman. Sa Shakeys MOA, pag apat lang, taragiz, laging may nawawala. Una si Betong noong 2009. Sumunod si Ronnie, early this year lang. Inaway ko si Bok, anu be, baka may 3rd eye si Kooks ... manalig tayu sa bata. "Ma, hindi ba natatakot si Tita Irma sa yo. Namamatay na sila isa isa." ..... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Bok, ayawan na .................... ayoko sa Shakeys MOA ... tapos ikaw, ako, si Dianni, at Fayie lang. Apat na naman. Tawagan ko si Little Flower. Bitbitin mo si Tanquezon.

Eto ang the best ... la lang, parang, gamit lang ... nakalimutan si Jhona. Hindi nasabihan aiiisssstt. Dala ko si Manong Taxi driver from Kamuning na mabait, TG walang traffic ... pagdating ko sa bundy ng CITEM .... wahhhhhh si Wenggay at Dianne lang, ninerbyos na ako. Waaaaa magpo-41 palang ako, please naman, ayoko na ito ang last bday ko ... pleazzzzzzeeee

Buti na lang, si Mykee, addict (tagal na nito ungot ng labas eh) kahit naka kurbata, ang aga. Buti na lang naiisip ni Diana Rose ... sa Joey Pepperoni na lang, mahal sa Gerry's Grill eh (treat pa naman nila). Buti na lang humabot si Del Carmen ... kahit pa bibilhan sya ni Mommy ng Sony Vaio, o di ba naman.

Ang Joey Peps, two restos away from that cursed, fucking cursed Shakeys damned fuck!

Mabubuhay ako. Mabubuhay ako. (LOL)