Heirloom

we come home each time one of us comes home.  sila mga taga gapo, ako lang dayo.

 my friends borne and raised in Gapo.  sila ang authentic.

Born  and partly raised in Cavite.  I moved to Olongapo City with my family when I was 9.  From then on, i was certified gapo girl by heart.

many things have changed but not much really between, amonst us.  the bond's intact and even  stronger exactly where we left off.  That was high school.  Jackson's '86 famous geeks.

hotel.  wimpy's. Smb's apple flavor beer.  junk food and plenty of wento.  :)

30 years of friendship.  no holds barred.  our hearts get splattered all over those cold walls and floors each time we hear each others sob stories.

... at akala mo nagkukwento ako ... after all these years, nung gabi lang na yun nalaman ni Ghie, ni Jeff, ni Pong.  Kulet kasi ni Jomat.  Ibenta ko na daw ang Pacquiao shoes!  Gumulong sa kama si Georgina --- natawa na lang ako.  Sabi ko that limited edition Nike Air Trainer 1.3 Max Breathe MP, will go from my deathbed straight to my casket.

http://mypixietales.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-search-for-roseman-bridge.html

and this has got to be told.  we came home with fresh glowing skins, just when you thought we were all worn and torn at 46 and 47 ....  hahahah ang magagandang aura dahil sa stress free living.

Let it be told, our carnal moments are over  ... bunnies they retired all together.  Retirement as a matter of  fact, as a matter of choice.

oh just may be, I was the first to go.  I don't do casuals, I don't do personals.  Rigor mortis.

whatever it is ... always a bliss to be with your besties.

A tribute to Riptide*

Riptide or rip tide usually means a potentially dangerous water current.

Finally.  I got my iphone a ringtone!  One for  SMS, one for call.

#♥QuentinAlexander .... and this boy got me into this ... and made me fell in love with it

#hailtheOriginal ... from Vance Joy, an Australian singer-songwriter ...oh what the heck ... I loved it, too!  

#certifiedSwiftee ... this lady led me to singing this in youtube ;-)

#Gutsy  ... this was last year ... I was busy tinkering with my Tumblr ... Taylor's version was playing and I went with it.  I call it my accidental Riptide.  And this was the Supreme Ultimate Version lol

my, this is delicious!

My naughty but very very smart and sweet niece, Hailey Ava.  She's two years old, and the kind of terrible I actually can live with.

She's the center of attention in our family.  She's got a commanding presence and she's the boss!

our little jogger

la lang jusz getting lazy

always been a fish

More reasons why i love NCIS NOLA

This my love for everything NCIS .... indie music .... and yes New Orleans!

I love NCIS NOLA  .. for the intricacies of situations, the orderliness of thing,  the system and the processes involved in coming up with resolutions ... the exercise ... the whole gamut ...  I dunno must be my covert interest on forensic science.

NCIS NOLA ....  I love the idea of Pride's home office, his kitchen and home cooking and of course his Trutone bar and all that crazy jazz!

His Team is part of his family. Which i believe has become an NCIS trademark or may be an advocacy.    Somehow, makes me miss my CITEM/ITSED family.  The last of  I ever had.  I still look forward though, but that kind is rare, there's no script that we follow.  It feels like NCIS, but it's not NCIS, it's the real thing.  They went scarce over the years, and don't come by like a breeze these days.

.... two places that fascinates me about America ... Philadelphia .... New Orleans.  The beauty of contradictions and ironies.    One for its silent sophistication, the other for its proud artistry.

And Indie music ...  are not the kind that's easy listening.  it's too deep to be easy.  they tell a story not everybody gets.

remember the good apples, they are not the ones on the ground.  you don't  pick 'em up, you need an apple box or two, and reach for 'em.  but only if you can.  for depth needs guts ;-)

... ...  don't you worry I'll always be here when you find your way ... ... .

... I see it all through a telescope, a guitar, a suitcase, and a warm coat
Lying in the back of a blue boat,  humming a tune ...

... ...  out on the sea In the doldrums waiting for ... Me in my boat searching for ... ... ... food for the bees.

... i just don't.                                                                (anymore)

Pagdalaw

Excuse me for all the typos.  I was writing this down between sleep and awake and my vision literally blurry as my tears hover on whatever was left of me.

I died 5 years ago, and  i was just a spirit. Though benevolent, is restless  Clinging to things i never had  but couldn't let go.  

Marianita

ain't a picnic
back to the meatshop
wiser, hopefully
midlife steppin out of the crisis ;-)

so now you choose between 27
and 47.

gurl, this should be an easy one.

yung madameng multong humahabol
parang five six na utang sa bumbay, ang hirap taguan, hindi mo pwedeng takasan
yung madaming issues na dapat i resolve
anak nya, anak mo, pera nya, pera mo --- ang gulo!
at ang pamosong linya, "hiwalay na kami", "hindi ko na sya mahal, respeto na lang para sa mga bata" by now alam naman natin, isa yang malaking panloloko, alam kong hindi yan madaling mapatawad
dahil ang totoo, eh hindi talaga sila separated, annulled or divorced .... magkalayo lang ...  OFW pala kasi :)
at yung physical distance, I was never wrong about that
distance, real or virtual, makes two strangers, remain strangers

So itong si Lolo, isa syang Mt. Fuji, in a bad way, ambigat nyang dalhin.
Araw araw, oras oras, kailangan mong iprove ang sarili mo sa kanya, at sya  rin sa iyo
If you choose him, be ready pronto!  to say bye bye to your once peaceful sleep ... spend more time locked up in the shower so your little boy would not have to hear your tears
your mascara expense will shoot up and your aging face smudged with it each time

So is it a question of how much he loves you
I dunno about that
I told you I stopped romanticizing ...
to them love is just spoken word, a need they are obligated to fulfill
old men are needy though they pretend so they act that they are not
sad but true, check his FB, always trying to make an impression, right?

the question you have to answer is ...
gusto mo ba ng bagahe na kasing bigat ng Mt. Fuji
are you happy?  yes, you said you found love, but you found burden, too
do you want that for your torn and worn self and that clueless child you dragged along in that mess
just because you  tried flirting with love?

gurl, i tell you this is an easy one.

he may have  a checkered past, but he can leave that behind to start a life with you
handcarry luggage lang yun that fits under the seat or in the overhead compartment, libre pa hindi masyadong malalim
but a mid-lifish bagagged man, the fact that he carried that all the way to midlife means HE FAILED to even just put it down.

let's be selfish ok, sa istorya na to dapat isa lang ang may bagahe.  ikaw.
kaya wag ka nang kumuha ng may bagahe na nga, mas mabigat pa sa bagahe mo.
Unless gusto mong magtayo ng FEDEX o LBC ---- bagahe pa more di ba nga lol

Marianita ... wag ka nang kumuha ng Marianito ok

Dun ka sa bente-syente anos.

As always, there are no guarantees
but with him you can dream and there is hope.

Pupusta ako dyan

... about someone new ...

I said "Sobriety" I was whispering.  En said he hates me sober :-) ... I replied, ""sometimes, I hate it, too, but ..."

I've come a long, far way from then. Fucked up. Messed.  Twisted.  Salvaged. Safe.

You see me around.  You'll never recognize me.  I walk like a stranger.  Was a stranger.  Always been.  Still is one.  Only stranger now  Stranger stranger.

You made me this way, don't you remember?

Wear me like a laurel.

I owe you my salvation.

I paid you love, blood, sweat and tears.