Heirloom

we come home each time one of us comes home.  sila mga taga gapo, ako lang dayo.

 my friends borne and raised in Gapo.  sila ang authentic.

Born  and partly raised in Cavite.  I moved to Olongapo City with my family when I was 9.  From then on, i was certified gapo girl by heart.

many things have changed but not much really between, amonst us.  the bond's intact and even  stronger exactly where we left off.  That was high school.  Jackson's '86 famous geeks.

hotel.  wimpy's. Smb's apple flavor beer.  junk food and plenty of wento.  :)

30 years of friendship.  no holds barred.  our hearts get splattered all over those cold walls and floors each time we hear each others sob stories.

... at akala mo nagkukwento ako ... after all these years, nung gabi lang na yun nalaman ni Ghie, ni Jeff, ni Pong.  Kulet kasi ni Jomat.  Ibenta ko na daw ang Pacquiao shoes!  Gumulong sa kama si Georgina --- natawa na lang ako.  Sabi ko that limited edition Nike Air Trainer 1.3 Max Breathe MP, will go from my deathbed straight to my casket.

http://mypixietales.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-search-for-roseman-bridge.html

and this has got to be told.  we came home with fresh glowing skins, just when you thought we were all worn and torn at 46 and 47 ....  hahahah ang magagandang aura dahil sa stress free living.

Let it be told, our carnal moments are over  ... bunnies they retired all together.  Retirement as a matter of  fact, as a matter of choice.

oh just may be, I was the first to go.  I don't do casuals, I don't do personals.  Rigor mortis.

whatever it is ... always a bliss to be with your besties.

Pixie dusts for Christmas

.

To my Mamang, Lolo Tatay, Lola Meding, Lola Bidang, my in-laws, Betong, Ronnie, Emer and Reden.  Celebrating your memories ...

To my homies ... 'in this together.

To my dearest darling, Sophie ...  i know, for her,  this sucks ... but a mother has to do what it's gotta do ;-)

to my best buds in the whole wide world ... thank you for all the lovin' ... dognuts, bok,  bengbeng, ML, batch, virginie, thermites, abiku, Phiayaya, Lolit Kulit, Lani Gel, Jena Gurl, Mykee, Nettchie, BenT, Fayie, CITEM luvies, GerryB, Minyang, Ca and GMA kiddies, GeloB, Davie, Laine,  Rye, Josh, Roxy Baby

To the love of my life ... love still

Me, cultivating solitude.

but I am Katherine Kavanagh

I bought it a day before our “field trip” back to our little town. 

Our “little town” … lumaboy kame tulad lang date.   Except that we can actually overspend  now LOL … more drop-dead booze to  devour …  and what may be more, lingering, fierceful baggage from  separations, divorces,  dysfunctional living arrangements,  midlife heartbreaks, unfaithfulness, homosexuality,  too much sex or the lack of it LOL, unemployment or under employment, the anxieties of raising teenage girls ,  sickness, painful death etc etc.  We actually planned to crying our lungs out, exasperate our tear ducts til no more to shed, make our eardrums explode and crystallize,  but  for some God-given circumstances the comfort  of old friends up against the backdrop of  our once young peaceful, baggage-less lives  in that little sleepy old town  …  there was only room for nostalgia  but never for tears.    Back in the sweet loving arms of Dognuts , we forget (no matter how momentary)    the many, lingering, fierceful baggage each of us carry.  Sunday birthday you know what happened 21^st of April …

I actually started scanning shortly after coming home from the quick weekend respite .  Giving in to Ms. Stillwell’s prodding …  I willingly entered the world of “fucked ups” …  not too strange grounds for me, ‘must say ;) … Finding Erika Leonard  too upfront and vivid  ;)  but other than Helen  Fielding, E.L.’s brit humor was a relief from the usually cold, misunderstood (ol’) English banter :)

And I've have always been verbose … I stretch my vocabulary without limitations (not because I never heard  of them  but because of its “blitzkrieg” meaning  … in less than two weeks of virtual sex  (thanks to you GreySteele™)  …  my favorite words from the first Fifty ;)

gazing beneath the lashes

i  go crimson

crying over the loss of something I never had.    dashed hopes, dashed dreams and soured expectations

tendrils

climax  …splinter into a million pieces … shatter again in tiny fragments

just-fucked hair

inner goddess

vanilla sex

chocolate fudge brownie sex

paradigm shift

coming here to fuck me that’s all

fifty shades of fucked up

perhaps if he was more normal he wouldn’t want you

7 shades of scarlet from his heat

you  are an adult – you have choices.

rules schmules
IHOP
nocturnal confessions
Laters, baby ;)

elevator ;)

So I was right, I’d finish it before May ends.  Today on the way home.  It’s done.  So must really go to National Bookstore tomorrow, segue from my daughter’s enrolment, and get the darker shade ;) …. Arrgghhhh but I had too much shopping already for the last 24 hours.  That little black (dirteehhh demmet dancin’) dress (off-shoulder babyyyy) … and a pair of deep dark blue slippies with striped stilettos  … that’s jusz too much splurgin’ a mother can do to pamper herself … and so tomorrow am buyin’ the next fifty.  My budget’s doomed!

dreamland

Was that my Near Death?  Or was that me in astral projection J?  Or simply my rare REM moment?  It was so complex this morning.  That it actually had three parts and a scenario.  And yeah this morning, you heard it right … coz I have been tossing myself to sleep for the last 3 days, twas as if I just sniffed kilos of methamphetamine hydrochloride LOL …

Part I

A phone call.  That same old happy voice.  That same old one I used to hear when we used to talk some time ago.

(somewhere in between Parts 1 and Part 2 was what I thought my OBE J … minds like mine plagues by all these weird thoughts J )

Part II

Horror pic.  I wanted to pee but the toilet was outside and communal.  The doors were locked but unstable J … damn … why are doors always wobbly in horror stories LOL

 Part III

After sex and pregnancy.  You wouldn’t let go.  So I chose to walk away.

Scene IV

Bum moments with Dognuts, you know one of those afternoon me and my friends just wasting times, drinking beer, dressed down, bodies all over the room, talking about practically anything under the sun, laughing until we cry, before real tears come settling down.

I was sitting on my wooden chair (the one I’m using now, so may be the venue was my tiny lavender room).  This song was playing.  I was holding my chin, shaking my head, my good friend Arnold approached me, and gave me a big big hug.  I said softly, “fantastic.”

fantastic!

Hey diddle diddle,
The Cat and the fiddle,
The Cow jumped over the moon,
The little Dog laughed to see such sport,
And the Dish ran away with the Spoon.

It’s not easy to forgive myself for such poor judgment for how can a woman of my intelligence believed a story like that?