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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Facebook Musings



... sana lang, if I'll never know why ... Please don't let it happen. I think that's just fair nuff.


***

... bumping my friend Lucky ...




If you miss somebody, and call. He won’t pick up, drop it, turn cp off, block you. Then snap on you for disturbing his movie time with his son.



If you invite because you wanna meet up. He’ll tell he wanna see you, too and misses you and all that but won’t show up.

If you explain to be understood. Still he wouldn’t understand. As if your feeling matters.

If you ask for clarification. He’d definitely lie!

If you say what you don’t like about this and that. Again, as if it matters what you like and don’t like.

If you ask for what you want. He’d say yes but still won’ t give. Because he can't and never intended to.

And the last one is the killer shot … despite of all the love, said and done … he’d vanish into thin air … without a word … or a decent goodbye … but a barrage of photos all over Facebook of himself, his so called ex-wife, and their son.

and you know what happen next.

(see the complications it brought me , because at one point in my life, I was actually trying to keep it simple.)





***


‎@Minnet :) ... because ... for all the 3 decades that were lost, the wasted love, our separate lives, for all the sadness and the hurt, at least one of us has gotta to be happy, and find wisdom in all these, to put meaning of why this happened between two people professing love for each other … there’s gotta be reason for all these. He made his choice. He’s got to try to be happy with that. Or else, all these, but a useless exercise. Nobody deserves to wear unhappiness down the grave. That's why. .... SO HE'S GOT TO BE DOING FINE!



(not to justify but to put meaning and value to all your actions otherwise all these would be useless, senseless, and regrets set in like you cannot forgive yourself... Isnt it a waste to spend a lifetime that way... So i leave you this prayer ...) --- May the bridges you burn light your way



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