The WAVE

Day 1 Wednesday

(They asked for a dream trip.  I didn't say anything except  that this is something very personal.  I got myself spared for explaining. ...  but there's got to be a release somewhere ... and so in IG  ... 

(A one way dream ticket 30 years late and even if this was for real, it wouldn't change anything.  Even if i was 5 months early, November comes every year like it came in 2011.  I'd get slapped with the same ending. ... I would be homeless and will be hunted down by INS like a criminal.   I am an adulterer.  I seduced another woman's husband.    That makes me a criminal.  I deserve to be stoned to death.  Which I got.  I paid my dues.  All's even.   :) )  

                                   Day 2 Thursday

Makes me smile how a group of strangers and almost-friends regard me :)

They said draw.  And this is the best that I can do.  And this got me into trouble.  Bad drawing needs some decent explaining.  I tried to be modest ... so here,

Thumb (Strength).  Courage.                                                                                                                    

 If my country will be at war, I will take up a gun, and defend our sovereignty (whether I can shoot or not --- I will shoot!  For sure I will be bloodied, definitely those gunshot wounds will be fatal.  I will be dead.  I fought.).  In a situation of confusion and chaos, I will stand up, say my piece, and hopefully be part of a solution.  Chances are I will get shot (again).  But there are consequences, I get it.

I will leave.  I will explore.  I will take chances.   I will make mistake.  I will regret.  I will apologize.  My courage is anchored to a firm resolve, my self pride and humility.  I am courageous to set forth, I am courageous to back down.

It takes a lot of courage to give up, to admit it to one's self, and to work it.  Please do remember that courage is not just about fighting, its also about the leaving.  We lose some things each time we leave.  And its not easy to live with that, i mean, the things you give up for leavings.

Thumbs up!

Index (Share)

I have 24 years of training, I came around in full circle.   I've got that gray matter between my ears, I've got a BIG BIG heart, I wear feathers in my cap.  I don't mind sharing my laurels :).  I mentor you and we can still be friends.

Middle (Greatest Challenge Overcame)

Superlative.  At 44, you've seen it all.  There's one to many.  But there's one and I don't know what to do with it.  It's a challenge  and I haven't overcome it.  I dunno.  (i said this and my voice was soft, and cold, and sad, i felt it close to breaking, and i was gonna give myself away ... i stopped talking and just shook my head.  stomach pain!  there's something in my eye.)

Ring (Important Figure)

I was always sold to the idea of being a mother.  It is a role a take seriously, and which I play really well.   Briefly ...  she is my legacy.  I leave this world, and her being is my gift to humanity.  Knowing that I trained her well to become a useful, productive and responsible member of the society.  I raised her in such a way she can make a difference in her endeavors.

There was a point in my life I made a decision to take care of a life apart from mine.  That was significant.  Having a daughter.

Pinky (Dreams)

Revert to middle finger.  (as i struggle to save myself from another round of choking, tummy ache and smokey eyes).