... my other garden ;)

About Me

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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.
Showing posts with label Lola Meding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lola Meding. Show all posts

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Deja vu


Remembering rainy afternoons in our ancestral house in Tanza.
There was that sewing machine by the wooden jalousie window with  the right amount of light and fresh air seeping through and a good view of the green and the wilds.  
I was on Indian squat in the middle top part of our long dark wood dining table.
She was doing one of her many masterpieces --- a big, chunky quilted comforter.  With which after the final stitches I always loved to squeeze my toddler self in between them.   T'was like getting drowned in a sea of patchworks. 
Always a pensive listener.  I adored all her stories about the Japanese Occupation, Philippine folklore and her personal struggles and successes in getting her college education,  a rare feat for an Asian woman in the mid 1900s.
I was like 4 and wearing sunny yellow dress that she actually put together.
We chatted and laughed the day away.  Lola and Ebey.

It felt so real in this room ---the scent of the "after rain", the imagery of tall wild grasses from the vacant lot just beside ours, the muddy soil, the sound of noisy, happy Kabitenyo frogs.  It gives you such immense and unexplainable joy when all of sudden,  out of nowhere, you get hit by memories like this, and like feeling every part of it so genuinely, knowing in your heart it was something that already passed, but the very thought of it, frame by frame, was truly lovely.  No amount of words can describe that feeling.  I just felt it and it felt so good.  
I was actually with my dentist for another round of dental work, busy tinkering with my CPs, watching Stallone's Cliffhanger (a 1993 film, and seeing Michael Rooker, young and nice, was refreshing), and waiting for my blood pressure to go down to a normal level, (my dentist fed me bananas, arrgghhh plus or minus 10, damn, the trick did not work).

I was a few weeks short of my 46th summer.


sunshine, fresh morning dew and clothesline parang alaala ng kabataan ko sa Tanza

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Pixie dusts for Christmas

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To my Mamang, Lolo Tatay, Lola Meding, Lola Bidang, my in-laws, Betong, Ronnie, Emer and Reden.  Celebrating your memories ...
To my homies ... 'in this together.



To my dearest darling, Sophie ...  i know, for her,  this sucks ... but a mother has to do what it's gotta do ;-)

to my best buds in the whole wide world ... thank you for all the lovin' ... dognuts, bok,  bengbeng, ML, batch, virginie, thermites, abiku, Phiayaya, Lolit Kulit, Lani Gel, Jena Gurl, Mykee, Nettchie, BenT, Fayie, CITEM luvies, GerryB, Minyang, Ca and GMA kiddies, GeloB, Davie, Laine,  Rye, Josh, Roxy Baby

To the love of my life ... love still
Me, cultivating solitude.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Grandparents Moments

My Profile Pic entry, Grandparents 2012

"Shopping spree in Escolta. Birthday parties in our ancestral house in Tanza. My own little bed in the master bedroom. Cabinets full of toys. Home cooked lunch and snacks personally delivered at the doorsteps of my classroom. Dates at the Tennis Club in Rosario. Sunday mass. Hide and seek at the Public Cemetery LOL. Lessons on Japanese Occupation, Philippine folklore and mythology, love for education, and stories of their youth. My scratch free knees and elbows. Tangle –free hair. My fresh and crispy school uniforms. My nannies. Walking First Aid Kit and anti-mosquito repellant. My school bus. My personal security. My Pep squad. Coddlers. Financiers. My first line of defence. My allies. My Fans. So they say I have his sense of humor  … I wish I have his pride, too. They say I have her brains, I wish I have her grace. All the perks I got and enjoyed for being the first grandchild. There are no trade-offs with grandparents. Thank you for the love and all the wonderful memories, Lolo Tatay and Lola Nanay. I wish we still have you guys around. Love always --- your Ebey."


My Lolo Tatay wearin his typical Kabitenyo swag ala  The Great Profile ... the superrrrr duperrr dark skin, wide forehead, high bridged nose, eyes deep set ... while my Lola was of Filipino-chinese-Portuguese descent was a woman of character, substance and grace.  Their terms of endearment was "Deng", whatever that meant, or may be it was a shorter, more discreet version of "darling", jusz my theory :) ... Lolo succumbed to esophagus cancer in 1979.  Lola never remarried, and joined her "deng" eventually 28 years after.

***

Easy Sunday morning, my daughter and I visiting memorials of Lola Meding (mine) and Lola Miles (hers).  Next month, I'm planning to bring her to Naic, for Lolo Tatay.  May be jusz a little pep and preps, small old public cemeteries are oh sooooo far far in many ways from upscale memorial parks.    I've always planned to have my Lolo interred with Lola but with due respect, it was Lolo's dying wishes to be buried together with his parents.

Narra Hills *  Pink Malaysian mums * my daughter with her abuelas * Me complaining about the tree LOL * See that Mac NY Apple right smacked on my lips LOL * our very abled caretaker, Manang Vivian --- she taking care of Lola's and Mama's plot 





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