Desperately Seeking Daisy

We were not the best of friends.   But as usual, fate has its own way of coming through.  For four years, we sat side by side each other.  From 1-1 to 4-1.  One room too many.  One high school.  One small town. We are each other's opposites.  She didn't have my humor.  But slowness when sincere is cute and forgiveable.  Well, some smart girls just aint funny, that's all. :)  But she was always good in Math, makes me jealous tho :)

We attended different universities but kept in touch the whole time.  In the absence of the internet, we wrote to each other all throughout college, the old fashion way :) ... we never became the best of friends, but we were steady close.  I moved to Manila workin on my MBA and a career in international marketing.  She flew in to process her CGNFS.  She, a registered nurse (am sure of the best  "thinking" ones :) ) .. and off to Chicago in a few weeks.

We caught up with high school friends in Manila and Jackson Mapua boys.  Damn and that was a dangerous meet-up!

They hit it off. They used to be paired in high school.  He was too "brusko" for her.  She was too fragile.  But may be 6, 7 years could change things, and people ... and feelings.  We were just teenagers then.  Must be different when you're 23. 24, so we thought.  It was a night of stories, alcohol, nicotine, dancing, night caps, spying and sleeplessness LOL  Damn didn't we all stay in one room so ...

We wished them well.  All of us from that night.  Life went on for everyone of us. Chasing after dreams, happiness, and ...

then i got an overseas call then a letter  ... oh no!

i did what a friend had to do.  but did not reply to that disturbing letter.  A question i left hanging  ... I was a good friend with a weak heart.

It took me 20 years for calvalry ... two decades to face a question I was not prepared to answer then... so here's to a heart that was broken ... hoping 20 years were kind enough to put the broken pieces together ...

"Pain contradicts love.  When we love someone don't we try our best not to hurt them in anyway, in words and in actions?  Don't we try out best to make them happy, shallow or significant happiness.  Don't we mean  every promise we make?  Try to make real each dream, dreamt together?  Don't we strive to be honest and loyal and sincere?  Dont' we avoid lies and cheating?  It doesn't make sense hurting the ones we love.  Pain contradicts love.

And may be, for some selfish reasons, too, we avoid hurting people we love and care about, for hurt has consequences.   It always does, hurt drives them away.  Too bad, especially the ones we said we loved.  We lose 'em, the ones we hurt.*

So the wise says, The love you lose may be the love you could have had forever.  Such an irony.

Twenty years, I still go around in circles huh, mincing words even when i really mean them.  So here goes ... the answer to your question ...

Not in high school.  Not after high school.  No.  He never loved you.
(he wouldnt have hurt you, if he did.)."



*never saw her again, never heard of again.  even with the internet, she's no where in cyberspace.  houses in Gordon Heights look different now. parents older and grouchier :) ...  that letter was her last.  she already missed our 25th HS reunion.  i still hope we find her one day.  and even if we don't anymore :( ... i pray that she found herself, of whatever was left of her.   life's tricky,  i know,  but i hope, like everybody else ... aint we all striving to be happy.

Irma V. and Daisy V. --- perpetual seatmates, from first year to fourth year, hanggang sa class pictures, magkatabi pa din :) ...