People are needy in general.
I used to be too. After a failed
marriage and a failed after marriage, I guess, it’s human nature to long
for a relationship, something,
anything. Or may be just regular
sex. Or may be just missing sex. There’s gotta be a need. So after Dennis, there was Panyong and
Dresden, some times cute, some times sweet, nevertheless, all failed
attempts. For some closure, in case
anyone of these three men are reading this entry, my-after-marriage
relationships were all borne out of need, must say. I was too obsessed to prove something at
least to myself, that somehow I can get a decent, mature, mutually satisfying really deep connection with the opposite sex. I rigidly worked on that for a time.
So what is this all about?
Addressing a need? Finding the
One? Keeping the One? Losing the One? I learned about their story. And love as a convenient excuse. And how cunning and selfish we become. We fulfill a need all for all the wrong
reasons. I thought it was too juvenile,
and yet we still behave carelessly like that at mid life.
Coupling. That was
sweet. Too sweet. Too all over the place. What we display publicly, I hope, is real in
private. Not just private intimate
moments, but alone time moments. Just
between you and your bed sheets if bed sheets is your conscience is like
between you and your God. That’s what I
meant, when I say private.
I remember Science High School. We were Seniors, and they were like a bunch of
cute brainy kids. I remember Cindy. I love Cindy.
I so wanted her for my little sister.
We were such smart brats, and we mutually adored each other. Who else were there? Dognuts’ siblings. Nat’s Joy and Arlene’s Tino. Oh, well she, she was unknown, just sayin’.
So that figures each time she gets a little fidgety, pushy
to the point of aggression lol. She is over
the top. She goes overboard. Too much accolade can become hideous. Makes me question sincerity. I
questioned that from the very beginning.
Too much of pretty is pompous, especially when there’s lack of it, I mean
pretty ;). Then there’s about breeding
and intelligence. I don’t know if you’d
agree with me. A face can have a
makeover but what’s underneath the skin must be really really deep --- and that’s
about upbringing and wit. You can fake it, yes, but easily recognizable. Actually, it’s a give away. Just sayin’
So she’s got like this other account. Not fool proof enough. How could you now fool proof it, you silly
silly gurl :)). I chanced upon it on a
single day and I immediately knew what was coming. When you lie about
something, I mean really serious, justice operates in such a way, that one day
that shit is gonna stink, and there’s nothing you can do anymore. She shouted to the world, to his family, to
her friends that she loves him, yet there’s somebody else. Technically, she cheated on him. Honestly, that’s not love. That’s “need” workin’ desperately on her arse
lol.
His hands’ ain’t clean either. His term of endearment is one
size fits all. He’s got replacements
haging neatly in his closet. He
prolonged it so he searches. What used
to be a want, may be, is now a need, a big bad void of a need. Just exactly how many hearts did he leave
broken? What goes around comes around. Loneliness
catches up with you in old age. This is
the example the next generation gets. It’s
in the bloodline now. Men like this
just got too much love to give. Love as
a need. Then the world is in chaos. (and I’m warning my daughter as fast as I can
lmao).
It only takes two people to degrade love, all its strength, and beauty and meaning. Dalawang taong sigurista at oportunista. Two utilitarians, who need love more than want it.
At one place, and time. Here, love lies.
It only takes two people to degrade love, all its strength, and beauty and meaning. Dalawang taong sigurista at oportunista. Two utilitarians, who need love more than want it.
At one place, and time. Here, love lies.
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