feel good Monday

jusz making this list gives me a very rewarding feeling. taking pride of the desires of my heart. keeping them as goals gives headstrong focus ;).
from anything mundane to something way out of this world.
i actually can give up all the choc'late stuff for my big baby boy,
even tat brick house with an old fashioned claw foot tub, I can pass on those, too
for tat cuddly curly haired li'l boy with pink cheeks
and who needs a fairy dream catcher anyway
when all I want is to take the last call for this gYpsy
your hands like a glove on mine
this face perfectly fits on your shoulder
sunset watchin' twogether.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=20332&id=100000099992542&l=2f2d006d48

cheers to my very relaxing, peaceful Monday.

here's one feel good song, for a feel good Monday ... favorite namin to ni Sophie. I hope they make a full length cover out of this TVC "jingle".

Rock-a-bye baby,on the treetop,When the wind blows,the cradle will rock,When the bough breaks,the cradle will fall,& down will come baby,cradle & all.

It's thirty-four minutes past two o'clock, very early Monday morning, non-working holiday. I jusz finished Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and the strawberry pack on my face is a little over-staying. Me still tempted to watch Margot at the Wedding. The effect of one glass of cold fresh milk, and a tiny pink cup of Jimms coffee. Sleep is quickly slippin' away from me ...










"It doesn't matter where we started, it's where we're heading that matters (so some wise man said). But this is my dream, I will decide where I go from here. You invaded my world Stranger, now I have you at the palm of my hand. (the last two lines were mine).

rainy days on mondays always get you ...

There was little chaos. Or may be i was just a little grouchy. Three bottles and a few sticks was sinful. May be I was just disappointed with myself :(. Thank God for Ryan, James, Ivan, Fretzie, Brett and Devon :). They shook my blues away. I got two shots and a pile of stories. My darling Sophie (a huge fan like mom :) ) was so so envious.

I got a window seat. Touched down at 2:10 PM. I was blessed with a spacious Innova and a really nice Mr. cab driver.

We've talked about this since last Friday before my flight. I found an opportunity just before we crossed Roxas Blvd for Dado Macapagal. Some change of plans. Big change. My friends, my friends' friends, they were very helpful and accommodating :). I spent only 30 minutes right outside my cab. Everything went fast. Kissed everyone "Hi!", kissed everyone goodbye.

It was a rainy Monday. I came home and started unpacking my luggage of soiled cloths. The other one felt like an emotional exhumation rites. Digging up memories of genuine joy, sincerest regrets, love made and lost, love thought but never there.

This afternoon, 23rd of August day of our Lord, after 2 years and 3 months, i got my GSIS cert, rush hush hush ... and tat one last lonely boX of what is now zip, zilch, nada ... thanks to Gigi,Thelms, and Lans.

I think i got me a busy weekend ahead.

bull in a china shop

super sugar rush ... glucose overshoot!

can i jusz say, "dahlin', your favorite fruit must be sweet pomelo and your most adored peer must be ninang :)

plane rides. i was stuck in the middle of Kadayawan. a celebration of a lumad's beautiful life. my thoughts flying as far as the most ancient civilization. :(

here i am, as usual, trying to make the most out of it. trying to get the best of me. a desperate attempt to survive with tat same ol' smile on my face.

MY 7 BEST THING SO FAR FROM CITRUS MAXIMA COUNTRY

1. ... when the leaving comes hard ...

My practical first aid was bit pricey. My firm resolve not to succumb to a 2-hour boredom. I treated myself with a fancy pre-dep breakfast at Delifrance, a plate of seafood marinara and a slice of ciabatta (hoping it would taste like pita bread,i was wrong though. :( )

Without any second thoughts,I went to that only book shop at Centennial 2, since am not a huge fan of Nicholas Parks, and I was not impressed with Lovely Bones (the film), i tried to be a little current ... who knows, I might find a little of mysef in one those pages. Eat Pray Love might be the right amount of sense and sensibility i'd be needing to last the next 4 days of my life out of Manila.

3. out of bondage :)

I really miss my "all alone on my own" hotel days ... somewhere away and foreign. Not very fond really of roommates, not even Soph nowadays ehehe ...am in the mood of being a little selfish with my bed. I like that all for myself. My solitude, my inner sanctum.

Me and MCT. Three room nights. 1512 Marco Polo. Bonding moments. We're hitting it!

4. shopaholism is therapeutic

Unleashing my great frustration! Kat Shop breakin' my heart with tat big brown bag. Here, first day Friday, i splurged on a big black,a teeny weeny lavender kit ... in less than a thousand bucks ... then jusz a a few hours back, a pair of lilac grendha (worth more than the big black and the teeny weeny itsy ... happy ouch!

5. practice brings you nearer center of excellence :)

Reaching perfection with my ballerina bun. I was wearing it the whole time except today ... EMD lovin' it ... ehehehe ....

7. so I'm going home

"It doesn't matter where we started, it's where we're heading that matters."
I was reading PDI yesterday morning before ingress. It caught me. And got glued for a couple of minutes. I went to the shower with a sparkle in my eyes. How inspiring!

"This ain't goodbye. This is just where love goes."
I checked Loveblender this morning. A posting from Dante the 13th. It hit me just like that. To think that just last night, I was slightly groggy with my yellow pill :( ...but sleep was evasive just when I needed sleep the most sleeps gets really busy ... running away from my tired complaining body's concept of a decent rest. Then slowly I remember, and suddenly it felt like those tears were like a baby's cradle drifting on a shallow river. Ama' wanna buy Roseman bridge (in Iowa) and get over it!

Tomorrow afternoon , a brief stop over. Bring Kiko his handheld fan for school (as requested by Bok), some stuff for old friends, not sure yet if i'll have 'nuff mangosteen, lanzones, suha ;) for giveaways hummmm ... all in exchange for my GSIS certification. Miszin' citem. I do. I swear. These days.

It's been 8 months.

before sunset

Tuesday's child's Tuesday night. That was jump start. :)
A little bit of rain. "can opener" mini bus. "sardines" commuters. along a crowded dirt wet alley.
I don't even remember how it started. Wild thoughts. Those craZy(beautiful) wild thoughts.
Tuesday's child's Wednesday morn. Busy with preps but always manageable. It felt like high fever. Too much desire was like speed, mushroom and dark choc'lates ;). Worse than the usual relapse. I was havin' seizure.

baby blue
that silhouette
a garland of sweets
a bundle of yellow herbs
foliage and butterflies
my serenata
one Thursday
before sunset.

A War and A Kiss (the metaphor)

When I arrived at Nagasaki from Sasebo, I looked down at the city from the top of a low hill. I saw some men wearing white masks. They were working near a ditch full of burning coal.

I noticed a boy about ten years old walking by. He was carrying a baby slung on his back. In those days, in Japan, it was more common to see children playing in vacant lots with their little brothers or sisters on their backs, but this boy is clearly different. I could see that he had come to this burning ground for serious purpose. He was barefoot. When he reached the edge of the crematory, he stopped and peered ahead with a fixed expression. The infant’s head was tipped back as if the baby were fast sleep.

The boy stood there next to the area for about ten minutes. The men in white masks walked over to him and gently began undoing the cords that were holding the baby. Then I first realized that the baby was already dead. The men held the boy by the hands and feet and place it gently on the hot coals.

The infant boy made a hissing sound as it was placed in the fire. Then it lit up in a brilliant flames like a deep red of the setting sun. The boy stood there erect and motionless with his innocent cheeks shining scarlet. I noticed that the lips of the boy were also streaked with red as he watched the flames. He was biting his lower lip so hard that it shone with blood. The flames burned low like the sun going down, and the boy turned around and walked silently away from the burning pit."

Joe O'Donnell (1922 - 2007), American documentarian, photojournalist. His most famous work was documenting photographically the immediate aftermath of the atomic bomb explosions at Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Japan, in 1945 and 1946 as a Marine photographer.


Original caption: In New York's Times Square a white-clad girl clutches her purse and skirt as an uninhibited sailor plants his lips squarely on hers


"In Times Square on V.J. Day, I saw a sailor running along the street grabbing every girl in sight. Whether she was a grandmother, stout, thin, old, didn't make any difference." I was running ahead of him with my Leica looking back over my shoulder. Then suddenly, in a flash, I saw something white being grabbed. I turned around and clicked the moment the sailor kissed the nurse...I took exactly four pictures. It was done within a few seconds." Alfred Eisenstaedt (1898 - 1995), photojournalist, famous for the V-J Day in Times Square, published in Life in 1945.

erratum

... but i need 14 hours of fasting
... i need complete rest before they suck all my blood out
... and strength of character to accept
... i was imagining DOGNUTS asking ...
... i am decided ... definitely ... no viewing
... dunno yet about ashes
... think Beautiful ...
... (and strong)
... that's exactly,
... i want to be remembered.

.. :)

"Reaching out into the cyberfog and grabbing hands."

I was at MOA this morning, official business, so I had the chance to pass by Fully Booked and Power Books. The scent of books, I always tell myself, I can actually live here, the throng of books and fresh covers is like sweet cinnamon that makes me walk on air, from air to cradle. Purposely, I wanted to buy "... the Bees" but I kinda like it with its original cover. Sayang, 20% off pa naman. I'll try again next time. I was taking the door ... so there, I found rob&sara.com ... 45 bucks, man! neatly, secretly tucked away from typical eyes.

Actually, it's a Laurel-Leaf, so slight pang-teens, but ain't i, a self-confessed juvenile delinquent 40-year old ;) ... i still have a growing collection of children's books. i have self-vested interest each time i get books for Sophie especially during her baby, toddler and early grade school years :) I have my own favorites from my little girl's library ;)

so am givin it a chance. it's your usual paperback. short. i'm at page 79 (79/210 pages) ... i don't find it cheesy. boring. mediocre. i like the idea of the story's backdrop. modern day epistolary. epistolaries, so i started to reminisce the time i was reading Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey's A Woman with Independent Means, one of my all time favorites. Gee, it was made into a film in 1995. Stellar cast. May be I really have to make lambing my friends from the States, to get me a DVD copy of this, and the love story of Tita and Pedro (Like Water for Chocolate), and because I couldn't wait until it's shown here in the Philippines, Angela's Ashes, too It was released in the US in 1999 ... gimme a break ... it never reached Manila. Or may be, this nation is afraid to see, how Irish men behave like Filipino men ... they are such babies! ... Frank McCourt, the famed author of Angela's passed last year, big C.

Side tracked by my own loquaciousness ... Shannon posted Emily Dickinson, Shannon ... Rob's friend. It's hard to find a "Rob" kinda guy friend in the internet nowadays. There's a drought for decent men, in general, in the real world. Therefore, this breed is extinct in the cyberworld. I gave chances to a few, very few, not 5, not even 3. They lurk there like sex-starved Greek gods. they use screen names like you can never imagine. tsk tsk such a pity. Nah, there ain't a "Rob" anymore. A "Rob" is as virtual as virtual.

.. so here we are, under the cyberfog mist ... sometimes it hurts the eye, di ba?

Here's Dickinson:

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!

barebaiting?

August is here … hurrah! Am shelving the last 4 months. Leaving ‘em in my memory bank :). Davao is still two weeks from now anyway, I have plenty of room for my sweet little life :).

So August's first Monday, a kick off of my two days … I went to the foot spa, and finally, finally, I made up my mind, and gave up on Pierri. She trimmed my brows some 2 years ago, shortly before I transferred office. I told her, I’d be coming back as a regular customer:) … but never had the time really. I even bought her a pair of colorful blades … she never got to use ‘em on me. One of the many old things locked in my drawer, collecting dust and cobwebs.

♥♥♥

Again, the crispy scent of countrysides. My eyes feasted on the foliage. I browsed a few pages of Chocolat. Grabbed a cheap ready-to-drink hot choc’late from the only 711 we found two towns away from our destination.

We went back on trail. Then I marveled on this really beautiful sight gracefully spreading through the horizon.

I know I can never capture that kind of splendor in words. No way I can put God’s grace in writing. But to me, it feels like the sun’s reverence to mother nature … the Great Divine, the overall schema of things. Fire orange swimming through a sea of clouds. It was such a perfect canvas.




♥♥♥

The week that was certainly pretty busy for me, work, socials, homefront.

Monday off. Tuesday was preps for Dagupan and a quick dinner and a little drink with Jen. Sometimes I question it myself. The inspiration that keeps me coming back to Blender. I don’t come around as often as before. It may be short, it was short … short enough for a shout-out in FB :) … “staying gone.” And me a little drunk.

Wednesday was meeting with SM MOA. It was such a busy long day at the office. And some family obligations, I went straight to Uncle John’s wake at Manila Memorial Sucat. Had dinner with my cousins. And had fun with my nieces. Eldest Ja came with BF in tow. Teff was in her usual makulit, malikot mood. I noticed she lost so much weight, but her bunch of curly locks I still do adore. We missed Tere, like Sophie, there’s early school tomorrow. And Chongs was getting bigger each time I see her, even on a yearly basis lang. She’s quite big for an eleven year-old. And Erika … looks very much like her dad … dolled up with her natural curls and tan. She’s 9 and ohhh so super witty. I look at them and I can’t help but notice how fast time passes by, how clever death coming though like a thief in the night, and how short life is, in a blink of an eye.. In my silence I said to myself, in the last 5 years, I have seen the generation before us like old leaves falling one by one. I have seen, too the fresh sprouts and the sweet smell of promises. We remain steady … the ones in the middle. We carry the torch, and keep the flame burning. Sometimes, it makes me sad, missing old folks. But it also makes me proud, knowing that in our hands, they have entrusted precious, precious one.

Two hours. I stayed two hours on my cell phone talking to my mawe after her 2-month hibernation. Nagtatampo daw sya kasi nakalimutan ko na daw sya because I wasn’t calling her. I told her I called her twice, but she didn’t pick-up. Or a few times that I tried, her cell was outside coverage. She said she’s going back to work this Monday, today, and her newborn was getting bigger (hopefully not fatter) by the day. I saw his pic from FB (her current profile pic actually), may be taken during one of his first bursts :) … I was kinda envious. I told her akin na lang hehehe We had a lot of catching up to do. Buti na lang traffic sa EDSA, more time to chit chat. She reported about the Fact Finding on the ESP transcriptions …. I told her ITSED/ESP will always be in my prayers, that’s all I can say about that. I updated her about Sophie’s dad, and his current GF. Me, I asked for prayers and a little cooperation around here (and there) :). I asked that we should pray and claim for the same things hahahah, let’s not confuse God, alright. I asked them to stop contradicting my prayers. God needs a little consistency from everyone, alright. :) I told her about that spooky FB request. Sumakit tyan namin sa kakatawa. Just the same, pareho suspetsa namin. She called him Big Butt Baby (Bok Wenggay will agree on this), he he he, I didn’t know what to say. My closing spiel … “ah basta dapat ako magtampo sa yo. Basta basta … for me, he will always be Von Dresden, Von Dresden Waje hahaah. Kuhanin mo kaming ninong at ninang … para magkatuwang kami hahaha.”

Then Thursday we were off for our 60th Anni, CSI Staja. My next 4 days wisely spent on a showbiz platter :(. Thank God for WIFIs, regardless how intermittent they were, and IPODs, regardless of their limited energy and miniscule, really sensitive touch screen key pad. When you’re in the middle of anything archaic and laidback, a sporadic internet connection, and little less cooperative ITouch could be like a geyser in the middle of dessert storm :) With that I stayed connected with the real world :)

Segwei … super phone calls. Now I remember. Again, I will be nice. Thank you for the attention, and all the kwento, and the sweet stuff and the invitations .. but if my memory serves me right …. I don’t like. Hayyyyy …. next please …

Optimizing the past week, and my 2-day rest day … I am surely enjoying the idea of the sassy black Volks finally finding its match. You can always rely on old country stores for rare finds. And if there’s any other consolation, I rewarded myself with Fillmore :) Here’s a sweet picture of the two of them … getting cozy with each other.





I finished the last nine pages of Chocolat on the way to Manila. I have to say this, the film wins over the novel. The book kinda lacks the spunk and the spice. Some elements were kinda “bitin”. Caro and Renaud. The Wind. And of, course, Vianne and Roux. Lollipop is more well written. A buffet of really lovely words. Characters are sharper. Zozie than Caro. The mystique, the struggles, the issues, the fights, they’re larger than a Choc’late Festival on an Easter Sunday. I wish they’d make a film out of it. Depp and Binoche still.

I am now more than excited to start a new good read. May be …The Bees … this time or finally getting Chris Martinez or Pretty In Pink the novel.

Some late night surfing of FB, I came a crossed NP’s posting, which is rare. Recommending Ruby Throat ;). I got thrilled, and found this … fallen for it …






Some late hotel breakfast, after a drinking spree with Jie and Panyang, which was planned to be brief but lasted until 6 in the morning, and we haven’t packed. I was sitting across Ivey Hayes, admiring Dancers of Black Skin.



Me already excited with August ... :)