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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

sex starved


I was online early Saturday morning … preppin up for Soph’s grad meeting @ the Montessori … my daughter’s a grown girl … we took different destinations … she at SM struttin’ with Precious, mom’s at District, hugging Starbuck’s choc’late,  revivin’ my playlist, makin’ my foot blush J

The effect of these past few days… visions and silhouette … actually it all started last Christmas eve … mariner look shootsss!!!  At first glance … how I wanted to see things … until reality sets in … the truth is .. those big tough brown hands i wanted to unwrap … were yours.  Fuck!

Unfriendliness.   That dirty kitch that would have been this witch’! Logic.   School Feeds,  2013 January.   Roxette.  The Age of Aquarius.    Groupie!  I follow and fuck my own ghost!  I said to myself I was to ignore all these.  I’m chewing my own vomit.  Such a disgrace!  Love sucks!

Last night …

This scam gave me so much stress .. the minute  my suspicion got wild … I turned off my desktop and jumped to my bed like a frisky bunny lalala

The things tension does to my self proclaimed vow to chastity  … I felt  that Mexican bulldog bursting in my head .. damn …

The following morning …

I was late for work for the first time … that restlessness and anxiety made me skip lunch … grab smokes … wear a bad hair … get lazy … police connection … thought about getting drunk … chat parteehh with my FB friends …

Of all things … I have to tell my friends about that like as if they can do something about … so ‘Nah go asking how I plan to do that … I said with conviction and rolling eyes J …  I have a reservoir of flights of fancy .. Nat was tongue tied … Bok a bit spaced out … I asked ‘Geh for a Friday night drink except that I’m in QC and she’s in Ontario LOL … I was talking to my grade school friend Nelia then her keyboard jerked off LOL … GerryBoy still going nuts over a deactivating wacko haha …  and this biatch still undecided if she’s coming to CITEM’s 30th anniv dinner …

It's close to 5PM here ... Manila skies ...

I’m on the edge and fidgety … I decided to send someone a private message … 
“hey, tell me a story …”


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