Pangarap ko sumulat sa Filipino. Colloquial. Kaya ayos lang Taglish,. That makes this young Filipino writer, Marcelo Santos III such an inspiration to me :-)
I read all his three paperback novels, Alam mo agad na mababaw pa ang pinaghuhugtan. Batang writer pa kasi. So pati subjects and sources nya syempre mababaw pa. He wrote probably not in sync with reality (purely a middle aged woman's opinion) but definitely in tune with his times.
But this boy has a gift ... ang sumulat ... and sumulat sa Filipino/Tagalog. Hindi sya malamlim (i say and mean that in a good way), ang ibig kong sabihin simple lang sya bilang narrator. Walang paikot ikot. Tumbok agad!. Sapul. Bullesyes!
The thing with Filipino/Tagalog bakit kaya ganun, try mo lang ... pag pornographic o bastos ang dume ampanget pakinggan hahaha so pag galit o nasaktan ang sumulat at ang isinusulat ... sobrang tagos sa buto. Pag nag "fuck you" ka eh English kaya parang fashionable haha totyal pa nga minsan lalo na pagnasa Pilipinas ka at panay ang effin' "fuck you" mo sa mall, sa Starbucks, sa office, sa school hahaha yung "fuck you" parang arte lang, bling bling. Accessory na pang glamorize haha
Eh cge try mo lang i translate sa Tagalog ang curse na yan ... parang kadiri diba ... bastos ...
Tapos, Pag minura ka ng "putangina" ... syllabicated kasi ang diin. Keber na sweet o pang joke time ang delivery --- ambigat ng dating :)
April 16, limang araw bago ako mag-45, sinulat ko to pero di ko mapost balak ko nga sana i translate in English para ma post lang. Pero hindi, eh ... converting this piece in English loses the genuineness and rawness of emotions, the time i was writing it and why i wrote it that time i did.
Eh sa Tagalog, yun tipong masakit sa mata na basahin, masakit sa tengang marinig even when you read 'em by your eyes or aloud, either way ansakit sa diddib.
Parang yung operation ko sa upper right shoulder ko, Last June, I went under the knife for a biopsy pero hanggang ngayon ang kirot ... yun habang pinapagaling mo, ayun para lang kinakalmot lagi o parang kagagaling mo lang sa Spa at na-scrub ... at pag naka blouse ka yung tela parang blade na humihiwa ...
Isang gabi this week ... sobrang nag crave akong sumulat pero I was super tired at ang dami-daming kong filial obligations and maternal duties ... feeling ko kasi crunch time na yung US OJT ng anak ko hayyyy ... ni hindi ko maharap ang maging emotional just the thought of not having my daughter around for 4 months and knowing how far she would be from me for all those times, in as much as I wanted to write a new piece nag scavenge na lang ako sa marami kong draft folders sa cps, sa tab at sa ITouch ... the cobwebs in my head, damn! they're all over the place.
Ayoko (muna) sa Ingles, ansaket naman sa Tagalog ... I chose something classical, highly inflected and purely human translation --- thanks to Google.
Lyke, those found in Egyptian caves, or cuneiform, only this time, written in my blood. I write, but no guts.
Cur Dolor?
Quia tibi mentiuntur
Fallimur
Ego deesset dum subditos aut sicut bullae , subito evanuit
Nya reversa pa.lang posui te paucis
diebus
Loquens dolor dolor
Unquam animos fecit refurt
quia cognovit laesa ilia autem usquam
Hesterno die propter imbrem nive luceat magis parva licet improbus moriturus
Et re retro versa, si movetur flagellum utre scit enim tua conscientia quia et tu non ipse ... voluptua.
