Monday Morning Quarterbacking (my birthday blog.)

Shattering the myth.  Biting the bullet.  Swallowing the bitter pill.

T'was a Monday.   The year 2014. My 44th summer. Looking back before moving forward.

God was teaching me lessons. And these were the ones I learned.  Though probably, not the exact lessons God wanted me to learn.  But it's too late, because I already learned them. (God must be heartbroken.)  

1)  Life goes on.
2)  A heartbreak hurts, yes,  but it won't kill you.
3) Lick your wound, your pain is your fault.
4) You can fake orgasm but not happiness.
5)  Happiness is not absolute, and is elusive, thank God for my mastery of compartmentalization.
6)  Hobbies are better than prozac.  Pursue them passionately... helps you get by  ...your balm to your wound.
7)  Jonathan is right. Cyber romance is only good enough for cyber sex, don't get serious with it, jusz enjoy the sex. :))
8)  It's free to dream and indulge yourself in wild imaginings.
9)  Always leave a love that's not mutual.
10)  Don't give an opening.  Don't entertain.  Don't give it a chance.
11)  To doubt is good.  Keeps you safe from harm.
12)  Paranoia is better.  keeps you safer from more harm.
13)  Say no.
19)  Its Dennis from Dallas.
20)  All the rest were strangers.  Everything else is purely coincidence.  I already dismissed the thought.
21)  Just exactly as Daisy... why it ain't love! (http://mypixietales.blogspot.com/2013/12/desperate-seeking-daisy.html)
22)  I don't have to love the one I'm with.  I just have to live with that.
23)  If your marriage is lousy, stick with it.  You made your bed.
24)There is no such thing as second life, second chances, blah blah.
25) Twin souls' a lie. True love,  a hoax.
14)  I am stupid, unwitty, insensitive, irresponsible, unfaithful bad lover bitch with many disturbing fixations and psychoses who is actually disinterested and incapable of good sex.   I'm a bad cook, I'm lousy in bed, I'm barren.
15)  I am ugly inside and out,
16)  I'm not good enough.  He deserves better.
17)  I stopped looking for the truth.  I don't deserve it ... (the truth.)
18)  This is where I'm at.  There is where I take off.

A writer never dies ...

Just now.  I went to check my yahoo mails.  Gmail and Facebook have been so good and efficient that I almost do not feel  the need to open any of my 3 yahoo accounts.  So I come there for curiosity.   I still  get curious from time to time.   Trending in Yahoo was Gabriel Garcia Marquez.  So I thought may be  in his octogenarian years he already completed, We'll Meet In August, or any new novel, just may be.  As I fought the thought that an old writer must have rested his mighty pen.

 Love in the Time of Cholera was one of the first ones I’ve read when I begun taking up reading seriously some 2 decades ago.   May be that book was way too much for a 23 year old.  May be it was really good but I got into it too soon.    I am sure the words were delicious.  Writers are the only creatures in this world who can put together the most palatable words and defying academic standards and cultural norms all at the same time.   It’s like a birth right.  To be delicious and dangerous.    Having said that,  Love in the Time of Cholera, was something I couldn’t relate to. Yes, it was a love story, but not your regular love story.  The protagonists were 70 year old deviants.  Lovers at the time of their lives where death surrounded them.  In the apex height of my youth,  shame on me to have believed that love was just for the young.  It was my prejudice that caused my inability to understand a love like that … I was closed to getting One Hundred Years of Solitude, but I thought Gabo Marquez was too much of a genius for me.  And it was my childish partiality that caused, again, my inability to enjoy his works.   My bad.     If I am taking a different perspective now it is because  I will be 44 by Monday.  And not impossibly,  closing on Fermina Daza’s fate.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez passed away yesterday, 17th of April, on a Maundy Thursday.  While I cannot re-write anymore my history with this author.  I am now prepared to conquer my personal biases.  I went to my ol’ book shelf.  The cover has faded, the  pages are brittle and orange, some of the leaves  have fallen off from its spine.  Twenty one  years after,  I should be ready for a Gabriel Garcia Marquez.   I will be reading again,  Love in the Time of Cholera.

My archaic "About Me" Blogger Profile getting a makeover ;)

Once said ...

"You’ve missed a dozen tempting sundresses with ample cleavage. Twenty pairs of scrumptious shoes displaying painted toes. Eight distinctive hairstyles and thirty exclusive smiles just for you. And the red dangly’s caught up in my hair while cascading from the kissable part of my ears. Which should have captured your heart upon first sight. Instead, my presence isn’t noticed as more than a net to catch your sorrows. A fragile, beautiful, vivacious creature placed in your life as a gift. I’ve allowed you to take my healing for your own. I’ve shouldered more than twice my weight. I’m nearing capacity and soon will burst, sending those red dangly’s in another direction. Impossible for you to gather them together again."

'Nuff said ...

I'm not a graceful person.  I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset.  I am a Tuesday 2AM ... ... ...

Spammed!!!

6. You Look Back One Day and She's Gone

Just like so many actual loves, you may look back one day only to realize all trace of your digital love has disappeared. When real life love dries up, you can often find some kind of solace in the correspondance you shared with your inamorata when the flame of your love burned brightest. Even the beautiful sexy messages of a porn bot may be lost with time. When she is marked as spam or banned from Facebook, the poetic webcam offers from your favorite porn bot may be lost to you forever. The beautiful words of your love may be replaced with the dreaded phrase, "This message is no longer available because it was identified as abusive or marked as spam," which might be the coldest break-up note a man can receive.

http://www.complex.com/tech/2013/08/facebook-spam-bot/you-look-back-one-day-and-shes-gone

jusz lyke oils on my hands ...

a caller ringtone for a number that no longer exists ...




i played scavenger from my dilapidated Tinkerbell sako bag of ol' GMA files and found  an ol' (but paid :)) Globe billings.  October 2011.  Some wife's lonely husband imported an alarm clock all the way from Manila.  I made myself useful, like I always did. :)

Oh man, why do I love you like I always do.

(Blown out my mind.)