tippy toes :) (happy to be home)

This week was a week of sobriety :). Let’s give credit to Chedeng for dragging me home from work for at least a good half of the week last week. Charge it to Pasayahan 2011 for keeping my hands full for the next 4 days. Hayyy ang Pasayahan na hindi naman masaya :( That awful float and a rainy parade. Arrgghhhh Two days, two days akong nauseous hayyyy. I wanted to beg off, but of course I wouldn’t do that. Not with EMD. :( And because of that, for the first time in my history of travel, I kept to myself, I was frugal, and quiet, and sober in my room, I DID NOT SHOP! So now, it’s official, I was really very very very sick during my entire stay in Lucena City (LOL). The redeeming factor, my saving grace, level 20+, Word Mole @ blueberry … BB screen huh, is a different level of challenge versus a regular desktop monitor ;)

Trying to catch up with my reading, too. Done with Liz Gilbert’s Committed. Uhmmmm didn’t enjoy it as much as EPL. But it would make a very good reference material for that uhhmmmm holy matrimony stuff. Wedding vows, marriages dissected like that pitiful frog in Biology lab :) It wasn’t like reading Ketut, Wayan and Richard “groceries” but that was one pretty extensive and objective scrutiny of that complex social union of two totally uniquely different aliens from Venus and Mars . If I were to do a research paper on this subject matter, I will definitely have Ms Elizabeth Gilbert on my footnotes :) …. Ohhhh btw, skeptic Liz, yes she did, marry her golden boy, Felipe. So what did I tell you, even this planet’s most hardcore cynics have a future hahaha

So Thursday night on our way to Quezon while trekking the wet slippery road of SLEX, I started searching for Juanita :) (she calls me Juanita ;) … so now it gets me really fascinated with her). I have jusz scanned a few pages, I was getting warmed up with Leonor :) … I still wonder (still with merriment :) ) why I am Juanita … something about her huh ;) … (I texted my friend Dianini, and told her how much I adore anything Mexican :) ... and this read ... I'm already overtaken with excitement. Teehah!

Wednesday afternoon, I got a text from Mark of Fully Booked. My Flipped copy’s ready for pick-up. The next day, lunch at Trinoma, I fetched Wendelin Van Draanen. Reading maniac on the lose … watch it! Watch it!

I miss my FB. I miss chatting with my friends. And uhmmmm currently waiting for Bok who is still busy preparing dinner. ;) … she owes me! …. She owes me …. LOL

Currently rushing migratin’ MyFriendster to MyFacebook. 31st we say goodbye.


Good to be talking to Zaldy H. right now (kala mo yan crush nya pala si Jomat and Arlene ehehe … and that he was once in Australia but never got the chance to meet up with Sydney and Melbourne pips :( … well also because he was somewhere in Darwin which was like Mindanao daw of Down Under hahahah). Zaldy H., our gymnastics champ … coming home December for the much anticipated engrande reunion!).

And that part of his life huh. We were jusz 16. Jusz kids. That kinda explains why he left Gapo for Nueva Ecija. Oh, tears … we all have that. No reason to be ashamed. Real men, they wear pink, and they cry, too. 25 years, it did not do anything. A 42 year old man, accomplished in his own right, still hurting from his past.


Tag-ulan na! Rain is good … it washes away …

silhoutte

Today I received a gift.

And for the last 15 hours I have come face to face with many adversaries :(. Like ...

This flu catching up on me. I was throaty the whole day in the office. I have colds. My lips breaking. Still dehydrating. I’d open it. Oh you swagger ;) ... you swiftly bring me to my old form, jolly and useful ;)

Too many deadlines for a day slumped on my desk when all I wanted was to stay lazy and dazy ;). Gotta check it out. Electrical currents pumping. ‘Ama wanna shout, Darna!

I wanted to rush home and watch DVDs, but couldn’t. Some urgent client calls, I needed to extend my time arrrggg. I went and viewed. I felt sugah rushin’ on you pretty face!

It started raining hard. Landfall na ba ito? Chedeng nandyan ka na ba? My umbrella won’t open, my feet on purple wedge soaking from rain water. One hour ... it took me one hour for that demmet bus to get my tired and wet self from that station (hidden from your world). My playlist no good. I wanted to light a cigarette, but I had 2 wimpy kids watching over me while I try to write this in my blueberry.

What could be worse than Cavite traffic when all I ever wanted was to wash, bathe, shower, clean up, Hanes, boxers, bed, movies.

I got to Dasma Welcome closed to 11 o’clock, jusz now. The tricycle station was empty. Drunken teenagers were rowdy and all over the place. The last piece of metal running on three wheels along Dasma Bayan broke down demmet just before we reached our village gate arrggghghhh. Finally, I got home, tired, wet and hungry ... tadah ... there was no dinner :( This must be my lucky day, ahuh!

When everything was going against me the whole time, I go to my inbox and push open Bok’s early morning message … there you go me flashin’ sweet sunny smile on my face ... easy ... jusz like that.

So that’s how good you look nowadays, huh. Fresh from the alps. Tinkering vigorously. Not paying attention to teacher.

That’s another picture to burn, like a moth to a fire. This made my day. This feeds me like breakfast, lunch, dinner and midnight snacks.

This makes me a little teary. A bit touchy.

"A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack ..."

Yin yan.

Tonight, I'm sleeping ... this hurt song ... this thoughtful smile ... and this Inbox with your silhoutte in it.

The Wishing Well

Heypi heypi belated to Ninang, Jones, May Ann and my niece Teresa.



The start of our friendship, Incoming Missions Division, Ninang Abi with the rest of the winning team, from right to left: birthday girl, me, Kaye, Randz, Cris, Chato, JBG, Weng M., Thermitez,and Haydz.



My ol' ITSED kiddos, ESP 2009, mykee, nettchii and our (nabugok :( ) baby, anakish Jonah :(




May Ann, me, our friends, all 4-1 class, SY 85 - 86 under Ms Perla Cui .... such happy times in our once very young lives, Gapo days.



my pretty Tere in peach with her Mommy, cousin Sophie, sisters Jaja and Steph. swimming, malling, Facebook, jusz bumming around that birthday Friday!

Madame Social Butterfly is back in the scene. At least even only for the recently passed week, jusz before the Pasayahan getaway :(.

We’re Masters of ceremony, Nat and I. A little say on the script and program flow. That was that Friday, before fairyland Monday.

Two fairies in their usual hangout, Pizza Hut Blue Wave. Monday night.

Tuesday I got one big plaid of all my favorite things in it … everything purple, st’awberry and Tinkerbell. :) … from far far away land of the big dreamers … a post 41st birthday present from …. ;) …. I was like a child with that Julia Roberts smile, it felt Christmas, and there was Santa. … I called collect to say Thank You! … and this time no more tears :). Oh dude, thanks for all the lovin’

Wednesday. Rest day. :)

Thursday with Jen and Memen. Morale of the story. Never ever mixed your drink in an empty stomach! God sent two of this planet’s most reliable and kindest drivers … kind enough to understand a drunk pixie (shame on me!) throwing up in the front seat … and kind enough to drive me home from the streets of Manila to the “pilapils” of Dasma. Hayyyyyy ….

My cousz’s home from Dubayyyyy. A little reunion swimming Friday for Soph and her cousins. I was @ Pacific Grand @ 9 PM. Tere, Ja, Teff and Soph burned caramel brown :) from pool water and May summer sun LOL. The adults had 2 long bottles of local brandy. I begged off … well uhhmmm because … I was dead meat tired from work and travel (imagine leaving Kamuning at 7 PM and reaching Sucat after two hours of traffic), second, ei I don’t drink hard ;) … and jeezzzz was I jusz vomiting drunk arse last night from a bad mix of red wine and beer lyte. So while we did miss each other, I have to politely say No this time :) and quickly excused myself for a much needed cold shower upstairs. Went down on my pajamas, and kissed everyone goodnyte, my cousins, my titas, nieces and Soph. I took my quiet place in the bedroom, and dozed off. Eleven fifteen Post Meridiem :)

Saturday morning date with Sophie. Some hot Spanish choc’late, old fashioned iced tea, choc’late caramel, and best seller - - -death by tablea. Uppers for shoppers LOL! She forgot zip line as soon as she stepped on the holy grounds of Asia’s largest shopping mall. She was happy with her t-shirt dress. Terranova looksss yummmyyy on me but I must say I was happier with my DVD copy of Flipped … eggxited already with its special feature on The Anatomy of a Near Kiss ;).
Sabbath Day was also a day to extend a helping hand. For as long as I can, I will. No sweat dearie.

Sunday at Dore’. For the love of my little Neng. Defy defy defy! LOL. I dunno what to say … this is so so not me … I was texting Bok … she probably was rolling in her belly. The things you trade for friendship huh … I felt too much air in my lungs, I was at the brink of hyperventilating … can somebody please pass me my little brown paper bag pleaseeeee. Jesus Christ … I didn’t have that in my own wedding. So you laugh, Ill kill you. Arrgghhhh …. Thank God for lavenders :) arrgghhhhh

And sweet litte things … orange juice (jusz a bit dehydrated) ;), my pair of Victoria’s Secret yumyum, red hot YSL, white daisies on my blue velvet toes, and a new hobby, wicked and insane hehe ... sorry can't tell.


In between daze … mares planning our last hurrah for summer 2011, swimming with family and kiddos at Meadowoods :). Virginia’s words of wisdom on the real reputation of faces hiding under the thickness of sweet sweet smiles, and her usual prophetic self on hot momma Lani Gel’s storkling ;). Burning wires with Ninang. These days when I still have to text her first to make sure that she’d be the one to pick-up my call upstairs, there, 8323990. The rat attack nightmare that almost ruined my perfect day off, my Dream Doctor, Dr. Bok :), said it will go away in time, it was just me and my trauma from last week's heart break and those dirty text brigade. And yes, Dianini, before missing Friday movies since Bok will be away in Tagaytay City, and me not to sold on the concept of going to the movies kahit sa IMAX pa sya arrrgghhhh, and segue on forgiveness, for whatever it is, accept it whole heartedly. Sincerity is a separate issue, God knows better. There was an apology, embrace it! It may be questionable, she’s not a changed woman after all. So be it. Your accountability is to accept the apology, and forgive. The other half of it, is hers. God sees both your hearts. Let’s not rationalize anymore. :)” …. In a way baka tama si Bok ….. that Starbucks night … must be the sign of the times … “ ‘must be the end of the world!” LOL.

R U M P E L S T I L T S K I N !

The directions said:
to knit the knot known and
not to knit the not known,
knit the knot known
to the unknown knot
and not the knot known to
unknot the unknown
and knot the knit;
to unknot the known and knit
the unknown, unknit the
knot known and know the knit;
to know how to not know
the unknown, knit the knot.
Gnaw your fingers to the bone
until you understand the plot.



***posted in So Many Books by a bookworm and a blogger like me. Lifted from The Queen of Wands by Judy Grahn ... and these such beautiful liNes are my personal "handpicks"



"And I am the Queen of Wands
who never went away
where would I go?

... ... ... ... .. .

And I am the Queen of Wands
who burns, who glows, who webs
the message strands,
who stands, who always will."

Virgil's

There are two ways to look at this.

Readers asked... you find this funny or tragic?

My take ... I guess, the answer will depend
on the state of your conscience.






"... than which no evil flies more swiftly. She flourishes as she flies, gains strength by mere motion. Small at first and in fear, she soon rises to heaven, Walks upon land and hides her head in the clouds." Publius Vergilius Maro

A Bombeck Favorite

If I Had My Life To Live Over

(written by American humorist, Erma Bombeck
after she found out she had breast cancer and needed
a mastectomy and a kidney transplant. She died from
complications, a day after my 26th birthday ...
a month before I found out I was pregnant with Sophie :) )


If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.





© Erma Bombeck

Epitaph

We all have our fair share. Of downturns. Bad hair days. Booboos. Boohoos.

I think this is mine.

For all that’s been said and done. For all that’s left unsaid and undone.

Sometimes you think about it. How this kind of bad has gone far, long and wide.

Some five, six years ago, I didn't know it will turn out this way. It was not
meant to be this way. Nobody can plan ahead, something so perfectly
bad. It was a beautiful picture that turned into an ugly memory. Why?

So let me, in the last last days of my life, to look back , I will find this part like a scythe hanging way above my head. It probably represents that pain tremendously bigger and more powerful than me. It’s like looking into a portrait so closed to perfection, pretty with all the colors except that there’s a small hole right smacked there ... that part which was intended to look good. If that was Michael Angelo's Monalisa, that hole was ruining that little smile, that was supposed to be make it famous.

Me, this is my bad. I take the blame for all the pain and the shame. I allowed this to happen. I did not do anything. I did not do the right thing. I prayed little. My faith was little. I made serious mistakes and offenses. I consented to each and everyone of them.

Human error of grave miscalculation, insensitivity, pride. God’s favorite angel’s downfall.

In all the pluses and minuses of my life, I have only two regrets. This is one of them.

So I leave this painful, important lesson to my child:

The problem with wrong judgment is because it is wrong. The problem with too late is, it is late. We all have to live with that and bring it to our lonely graves ... so i teach my daughter, Sophie, each time, she has the chance ... honey dear, "I hope you grab it, and dance."




(They have no use. So please omit flowers.)

14:27

... take the pillow off bed, a knife from the drawer,
went up the fire escape to the roof and stabbed the pillow.
She get back to the priest as he instructed.
“Did you get the pillow with the knife?”, he asked.
“Yes, Father”, replied the woman.
“And what was the result?”, asked him.
“Feathers”she said
“Feathers?”, he repeated.
“Feathers everywhere”, she told.
“Now, I want you to go back and gather up every last feather flew by the wind.”,
the Father told.
“Well, it cant be done. I dunno where they went. The wind took them all over”.
said the woman.
and the Father replied
“That is gossip”.

For whoever was/were responsible for the all these damages, in heart, and in spirit, i will try my best to find forgiveness.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.

Life is so delicious to waste on hate. :)

A Mother's Day Special

oh this was so good and timely, I could not let this special day pass without posting it. May be because Mr. Coelho posted this in FB medyo a little late today. I saw this in my homepage, and clicked Like right away, and shared it ASAP with my network. Connie, my HS friend Jed's wifey, family now based in Perth, Western Australia, wrote in her message that this piece by Erma Bombeck, was also their Parish priest's sermon this Sunday's Mother day's celeb. i am posting in mypixietales, to see how God's work and invention has a happy ending like this. I quote, my quote, "Mothers are God's bestest and most special creation. Let's all stand up and give God a round of applause for that!"






Character of the week: The Mother
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/05/08/character-of-the-week-the-mother/


When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of “overtime” when an angel appeared and said:
“You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order?

* She has to be completely washable, but not plastic;
* Have 180 movable parts… all replaceable;
* Run on black coffee and leftovers;
* Have a lap that disappears when she stands up;
* A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair;
* And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands… no way.”

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.

The Lord nodded.
“One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ’What are you kids doing in there?’
“Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know.
“And of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, ’I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

“Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “Go to bed. Tomorrow…”

“I can’t,” said the Lord, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick
“…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger
“… and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

“But she’s tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can she think?”

“Not only can she think, but she can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
“There’s a leak,” she said. “I told You were trying to push too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

And the Mother was created – a work of genius.

hey ... it's me

one of the hardest thing to do ...
to make a collect call overseas
hoping not your voice mail to pick up
instead of you
but then
i was afraid that you're caught up with something
in the office, or with Joshen, or with something personal
... personal that got stalled somehow (for only a time, i hope)
because of me.

but my reliable best friend
there you are
finally, on the other line.

my throat dried up
my spine chilling
don't break up
don't break up ...

hey, Gers
it's me

are you tired of my stories?

... lazy hazy Monday.

... yeah yeah, bummed around my bedroom along with my intermittent internet connection. spent my time migrating Friendster photos to my Facebook, hopefully, I'd be able to beat their May 31st deadline. A week of absence in FB, I almost missed Bok's Tagaytay photos ... my dream venue ... Sonya's Garden hush hush. So there, I was able to reply to all my private messages. I have invitation from Denver argggggg of all places. May post-bday paramdam hayyyy, can't you see the answer flashing on my forehead ... I DON'T LIKE!

I have mastered the art, the science, the spell of curing green eyes. :) Pustahan. Parang yung dati and una, natulog lang ang CITEM, cge na nga, nag weekend hahahah, 2 days, 48 hours, dami na noon huh, tagal na non :) ... come Monday, I bet ...

This is "Hot Chocolate", author anonymous :) . It was under inspirational. Me, I find it sexy. :) ... and yes a little overdose on Astrid North.


Blush little cloud blush
A deep scarlet red
Salt press in to wounds
Honey sweet and just as bitter
Contradict my words
Place a fiddle in my mouth
Play a little tune
Throw us in to an ice age
Whisper in to the dark
Turn the sky purple
See in black and white
Glass breaks in to dust
Glitter about my feet
Look in to the archives
Find the betrayal
The Angel’s Demon unfound
Terror stricken
I dance on my toes
Feel the fingers in my hair
Pushing in to my brain
Smile goofy
And tap my fingers
Scream like a banshee
Squish a bug with my truck
Feel power fall between fingers
Making circle
In the shadow dust
Play the Pyramid song
On my stomach
One, two, three
Love the hate
Take it to you
Feel the red lights
Press brands in to my skin
Does it matter?
Am I crazy?


... all night long
but i don't mind
cause i have you on my mind



marshmallows and bubblegum