@gypsytales: amazing grace

""...so remember that time I asked you about your status, well, because, I know you've been lying to me about it. and the reason why i asked was to give you the chance to tell the truth, redeem yourself, and make things right, do right. but you DECIDED to stand by your lie, and live through it. I'm 42, and probably lived half of my lifetime, yes i've made serious mistakes in the past, really bad ones, so now with you, I wanna make it right, do right. I can't and don't want to live a lie, not even with you ... especially with you ... because I love you.

 my HS classmate sent me "Amazing ..." I replied ...

 @Elmz ... ... thanks for keeping the faith :) ... we both lost Elms, it would have been really beautiful, we waited so long for each other, we were so happy finding each other again. I remember when we were kids, there was this cute little boy who was always always staring at me, I didn’t understand, so I stared back, and enjoyed the feeling. it's just sad that even after 30 years, we’re still not ready for each other. Always that young boy who just watch her favorite little girl who always walk away. Life goes on ...""

raspberry blue

""(I was updating my blogspot profile --- with something Carly Rae, it's been bluish 2 days :( ... I got the usual random questions, I usually give unusual answers to :). I was thinking blue raspberry. Either from icee slush or better from that frozen tequila mix with blue curacao, can't wait to watch my tongue turn anything between violet and green. Here goes my best answer. A memoir of a gypsy in a harem. Thanks to you, doctor's diagnosis. Author has written 121 stories for Life, Love, Friendship, Religion, Haiku, Young Adult, General, and Family. Marvelous! I checked my gmail folders, that was, Thursday, January 19. Achi and her blackberry, me and my android.) Your blue raspberry headphones in both ears, make sure I know that you don't want to talk. You've had a long day, had too many problems with that girl who is all you can think about.

*yes, doctor, my heart stopped beating, too the second I saw that. I thrive in life support now. please, feel free to pull the plug anytime. And Be merciful.""

Definition of Terms 1: Coping up

""Coping up - You never really stop loving someone. You just (try to) learn to live without them.

 So you can always live your life. As I will live mine. Life is a circle. Sometimes after going around it , fate puts you face to face , you freeze, everything else around you in slow mo, just when you thought they were left for dead last time you checked, you feel those butterflies again. As if there were no time and space between two people, between you and me, between us. There will be always that feeling for that person that just wont let go. And wish, the last 30 years or so were lived with him or with her. The children he fathered were yours. Or your baby girl was his. May be a wedding album of your own. Two lives built together. Never apart. Silver gray hairs. Sunset. One grave. There will always be that person. You bring her with you. You carry him with you. You only can wish. Even when the pieces don’t fit no more. Actually, especially when they don't fit anymore.

Life tries to be fair. It gifted us the capability of wishful thoughts amidst reality. The life we live is the life we have and not the life we wished for. That’s why it’s a wish. It’s your heart’s desire. It will always be something or someone you don’t have or will never have.

That’s how wishes operate. Always an alter ego of what we really are, or who we really want to be with. Who we’re with, may be circumstantial, may be we need them, sometimes we want them too but they will never come close to that person you’ve always wish you have in your life … if circumstances were different.

Coping-up redefined. My revalida.""

A PRAYER FOR JOEL TAR*

""Do not think it very nice To travel on a cake of ice Except in Summer when it's hot; But in the Winter, when it's not And icy winds blow in my face I like an open fireplace Where I can watch the glowing flames Or play upon the floor with games. So let us say a fervent prayer That Joel Tar may land somewhere Beyond the sweep of wind and storm Where he may find it safe and warm.




*mutatin ... how Kernel Cob and Little Miss Sweetclover never wilted like all the other flowers, but have kept as fresh as the day we made them."

and ...

"Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men".""

Perfect Sunday

I made her sandwiches, good nuff for lunch and some heavy snacks. I've got her drinking water chilled the whole night. We got up early, preps ourselves, by 7 AM, we were on our way to Vel Maris School, official testing center for UST Admission Exams in Cavite. But even before that, we quietly slid ourselves in between cemented walls and big wooden doors --- for some early morning blessings. A sprinkle of faith wont hurt.

We got to VMS JIT, As usual, as expected, as ever, the shy, the timid ones, the reluctants kept their comforts outside as they watched from the glass jalousies, as I sat confidently beside my daughter. I was just giving her some last minute pep talk and practical reminders lyke to bring her hair up so humidity wont catch up with her. Put all her pencils on queue (she's using AMSPEC T Pencil and Faber Castell to avoid UPCAT mishap), her MAPED sharpener and dust-free neon pink eraser within her reach. To stay up close to the ceiling fan. Avoid the rowdy teenagers, they won't come handy ... not yesterday, not 2 days ago, not last week, not last month, and especially not this Sunday :)

Immediately after stepping outside the testing room. I clicked my heels LOL and ran like a child to Starbucks and treated myself with a grande size of hot choc'late with two shots of vanilla syrup for an additional twenny bucks. I took the "kabisera" in that long stretch of narra table. Don my ceremonial Indian sit and sipped my way through a really chillax moment with I, me and myself :). I tried desperately to tweet but log in unsuccessful. Instead, I devoted my attention in reading the morning papers, all two of them, The Star and PDI. Headlines, classified ads, entertainment and tadah .... I loved the lifestyle section with all the women writers. In particular, I have been hooked with the literary style and the watercolor art of Ms. Gilda Cordero-Fernando, a celebrated Palanca awardee, now an octogenarian, but still very hip and witty. Many times when I read her articles, I kinda see a bit of her in me. The unexperienced, raw, lackluster, hippie writer cum art aficionado :)

"On a clear day you can see forever," sez she.
http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/65466/on-a-clear-day-you-can-see-forever

After the coffee shop ritual, did the groceries. got Soph's 2nd pair of school shoes and got me that banana boat nail polish, visited a lonely, dusty thrift shop by the hilly road... got a block of bluish plate-looking roughness for my Mr. Frost collection and a small palette of candle holder :) ... Christmas at home officially up 9 days tardy from last year :)

Bok Wenggay so happy with the pastel platitos I got for her from the Japanese store with a barbarian sales staff laaaaaa. Me and Soph tried clowning with em and posted em in Boklay's FB wall ... and here ...




ohhh We got 75 grand whoaaaaa ... and another busy Monday... and a pretty challenging week ahead. :)

Uhmmm I responded to a grade school classmate's invitation ... somebody's FB got a little fucked up so me so wronggg again (darn!!!)