Redemption came early. God must have realized how much stressed it brought me. An amount nobody deserves. Too serious for me not to be able to get myself home. That bad for me to gravely consider bothering my Mawe to rush me to St. Luke's due to difficulty of breathing, heat stroke, nerve attack (half left :( ) ... and you know the usual, alcoholism.
And God must have seen the good intentions and pure honesty. Today, the whole day, I scored an Ace. Sincerity is always endearing. This my mantra always.
I can be sincerely angry. Sincerely jealous. Sincerely brutal. Sincerely naughty. Sincerely vindictive. Sincerely stubborn. Sincerely difficult. I can be a sincere enemy. But then, I can be sincerely generous. Sincerely caring. Sincerely appreciative. Sincerely gracious. Sincerely funny. Sincerely forgiving. Sincerely sugar & spice & everything nice. Sincerely easy. I can be a genuine friend.
I am your sweetest witch and the biggest, blackest, baddest, wolfest piXie. Which ever role I play, that is truthfully me. Love it or hate it. I can wink and gnash my teeth on you.
That Tuesday was my One Time Honest. I was asked again this morning. An attempt to scratch a fresh wound. My decision was quick, firm, and just loud enough to be heard and be understood.
My "No." was not just an answer to a question. It was a decision. Me ... am always good at decisions (i mean, at least in matters like this) ... :)
I worked over time today. I have a 6 month tour for Q. And a first, major night race in Cebu. I wanted to get home fast, grab a beer and celebrate, post this, share with friends at FB, hug my little girl, and that positive energy again. For the first time in two years, I took the bus (Thank God the airconditioned one from Taft), from Pasay to Dasma, on foot sa estribo! God loves me so much ... that even when He made me stood up, and struggled my way to home ... what do you know ... NO TRAFFIC! ... The driver was lousy, but his assistant was kind.
The night before tonight, Monday, my off day ... my pep talk with God brought me to sleep ... my good, my sincerity.
It was such a blessing talking to God especially when your last words, were prayers to Him.
Today is God's expression of His most sincerest love to me.
... my other garden ;)
About Me
- Irma
- I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.
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