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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I am a Velveteen Rabbit myself :)



I wasn't singing this when I was twenny three. I was too young, I didn't know the world ... I was jusz explorin' it.

Seventeen years after ... when I have tried everything ... God tell me, is it wrong to search?

Scarcely I did. Reluctantly I did. I wasn't even aware that I did.

I searched and I was wrong, and wronged ...

So after then, I chose to be steady ...

So may be then ... that time ... I was dressed with cotton and thread ...

... and so a few years back, I wanted something more ... of this life ... of myself ...

... and so even when I was mistaken ... i do still crave ...

... this gYpsy life, this fairy tale, black or white to find ...

... Real. I jusz thought, and hoped, that Baby, it was you. With you.

"Aren't I lovely
And do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and
Do you love me cause
I am desperately searching for something
Real."

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