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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Velvet Bunny

I miss pixietales. And poetry. January 28th was my last (Kirk a little tampo to everyone for the absence and silence). I miss Facebook. I miss movies while on couch potato. And that relax watching of AI. And GMA News TV. Enjoying my book. And Quiet Time. Afternoon naps. Foot spa and pedicure. I miss shopping. And Papemel with Jen. I miss Nanat. Hanging out with CITEM friends. And chatting with Bok. And those expensive weekend sleepovers with Sophie. I'm slipping away ...

Davao was PATHETIC, spelled backwards and other way, it smells the same. CITETHAP PATHETIC! A week and still on the running, my blood rising like an over boiling tea pot screaming like it wanna pulverize your ear drum :( My plane landed and landed and all I did was work and work and work to a place and time that's 40% hard labor and 60% war. Wheewwww ...

This afternoon, my friend ENY's blew her top. About somebody asking about me, mine, him and his. She was proud and might in her pulpit and I was meek and quiet at the pew. I took all her sermon like spits on my face :(. She's had enough of those people and all those talks. I was staring the air pointblank, that nasty heartbeat inside my throat (a bad sign), and unstoppable hiccups (bad sign gone worse) I wasn't deafmute but I was certainly cold and numb. My words to her, "Please don't ask me to put if off. This is closest to staying real. Let me cherish this. It can't be for long." It feels like my big oxygen tank, bleeding. Hanging on by a thread to dear life. Foolish but alive. And sleep and wake up for something for myself each day. So my dear friend, please try to accept what you don't understand.

The beauty about this telecon, come to think about it, it was supposedly about ENY and ENY's Zham. Happy to be of help as usual. As soon as I got home, I grabbed my Good Housekeeping February issue, thanks to the Bautistas. :) On the other hand, to me, is another reality check and me an usual, pretty when pinched. :)

My APE's out. Well, not that bad. Just bad. Just bad aint that bad, ayt? No bleeding just inflammation. At least I aint losing much of my rare blood type. I'm not in pain. I'm not worried. I'm just wondering what's really wrong. This week I will try to visit Dra. Virata again. It's been a year and ... and my "emotional" cervix just won't give up stealing the scene hayyyy

The beauty about this piece of document ... it sets the alarm. So there me again, another promise to quit the things I've got to quit. :)

The week that was, was a week of homecoming, memorials, birthdays and engagement. :)


My cousin Jerome's home for the week with us. I picked him up from Pacific Grand Villas and brought him to Solar where Caroline had been waiting for us. Some sweet bonding time with my younger cousz. Weekend we paid our respect to our matriachs. I hosted dinner, I served them liempo, SeƱor Pedro, grilled fish and sinigang na baboy. I got the kiddos Very Rock Road and marshmallows. And there there was the five of us - - - Jerome, Franco, Bujon, Carrots and Ate. i missed my brood so much. I missed those times when we were young children ourselves and complete, busy having fun fun fun with one another, either in our ancestral home in Tanza, Tita Marie's place in Meycauyan, Tita Jing's condo in Makati or in our apartment in Gapo.

Here are some family pix at Sunday memorial (notice the faded lilac):











My friend Bengbeng turned 43 last week. I sent her a brief message in FB, a reassurance of my love and friendship.


Si Bengbeng, hinatid pa ako sa Tanza, when I moved back from Gapo to Cavite. So sweet and thoughtful of her. Here's a picture of us, during her last day in Cavite. Nasa Rosario kami nagpapadevelop ng mga pictures namin :(. Misz ko na BengBeng, nasa NGCP lang naman sya, lapit lang hindi pa matuloy-tuloy coffee-coffee namin :(

BenBen's birthday, too. It's been awhile, sana matuloy na din birthday dinner celeb ni Jen sa Sikatuna Ville for ol' ITSED, we misz na our cuddly big Ben :)

I remember the last surprise birthday party thrown for him some 2 years back. Many things have changed now. But that was one happy memory. This was my birthday gift for him ... a mouth watering :) caramel cake ... original from Estrelle's :) ...
Sempre kami lang ng mga kaibigan ko ang naka relate, halos ayokong buksan ang box at i-serve ang cake kasi may mga kalaban hahah darnnnnn



Irma S. Vanta
My little neng is getting married ... sending you and rommel and your little one gazzilionth hugs ... love always, from Ate Nena, Nenita Sophia, and Kuya Tintoy ;) (hahaha kasali talaga, laging kasali hahah ... ayaw pa upstage ayaw pa upstage!) ♥Love you Neng

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