... my other garden ;)

About Me

My photo
I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Narrative Autobiography: Diamond in the rough



I was born a month earlier before my due date under caesarian section due to my mother’s legendary congenital heart condition. Summer of 1970. 21st of April in a sleepy town of Rosario, Cavite. As they say, a Tuesday child is full of grace.

I am an only child of a pampered daughter and a favored son. The first grandchild. The first niece. I grew up a bit spoiled by my maternal and paternal families. It was disliked by my cousins during our younger days but we grew closer to one another as we moved towards our adolescent and adult years. While we dread the passing of the generation before us, we know it is inevitable. Being the eldest in a small brood of 9, I stand next in line as family matriarch. While I know that the responsibility is enormous, I am the nurturing kind, and it is a gift I am grateful of.

I spent my early childhood in Tanza, Cavite until my parents separated when I was 3 years old, and my mother and stepfather brought me with them in Olongapo City. I lived there for 15 years. I always described myself as a true blooded Kabitenya, ‘Gapo girl by heart.

I was fortunate to receive public education when it was as its best. I was a consistent honor student but I always ended up getting bumped off of the honor roll due to lack of residency. When I was a child, my maternal family had this bad habit of borrowing me like a teddy bear from my mom only because they wanted to have me around in their house for an extended vacation. So I got uprooted and transferred from one school after the other in my grade school days, I went to a total of 6 elementary schools, 2 in Cavite, 1 in Manila and 3 in Olongapo City. The plus side of this, now in my adult years, I have an extensive network of childhood friends, and very fond, and distinct recollection of each.

High school was one of my happiest memories. I got formidable education from one of the best, if not the best, secondary schools in Zambales, and found from there, my Best Friends Forever. A friendship of 30 years and growing stronger, is a serious feat and a blessing from God.

I went to Manila after high school as an academic scholar, however, the height of student activism clouded my freshman year. To make a long story short, I had to be “rounded up” by my mother from the streets of Intramuros after a week long of demonstration. She got me reprimanded by sending me back to Olongapo and enrolled me in a small Catholic college.

It did not stop my radical views but having my mother by my side, day in day out, kept me grounded. It did me well, and I am thankful from getting that tough love from my mom. She gave me the right kind of love in a period of time for a specific situation, and because of that I did not end up in the mountains of Quezon, did not end up with a bullet in my head (like what my mother used to fear when she learned about my militant activities in Manila), and did not waste my chance to give legitimate help to my country . At 19, I earned my degree in AB Economics, Cum Laude. I joined government service a month after.

After a very long engagement, I got married in 1997. And I have a 1 5 year old daughter who is graduating from high school March of 2013.

I must say, I am unconventional in many ways, as a child, as a daughter, a friend, a boss, a mother, a partner. I do not have the world’s most admirable traits, but I am very endearing to people whose lives I have touched.

I approached mid life two years ago, I realized for myself how quite of a challenge it is, making it very overwhelming but very engaging. Sometimes, I think this middle life feels like you are trapped in middle earth, it can be a little jaded but most of the time it’s life as always in whatever stage, a diamond in the rough.

Having said that, I am making sure that this overwhelming challenging midlife ride is still fun, interesting and memorable. I have brought along a list of hobbies and fascinations which I am passionate about, and I pursue them relentlessly. To me, they are therapeutic, they keep me sane but they drive me crazy, too.

I grew up in a family of voracious readers. In our ancestral house in Tanza, my Titas’ townhouse in Manila, our apartment in Olongapo, you will find newspapers, paperbacks, children’s book, magazines, scribbles on yellow pads, doodles on notebooks all over the place.

So it must be genetics, my love for reading. An inheritance from my maternal family I continue to value and enjoy until this very day. I read practically everywhere for as long as I have a chance. I make it a point to carry a good cover in my bag. If for some reason, I ran out of a good reading material (like now when I just finished Angela Mastretta’s Women with Big Eyes, and E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey still out of stock), I am left to reading billboards, and even vandalisms and graffitis while on my way to work :) . Myself, an avid fan of many many writers, poets and novelists, famous, unknown, anonymous. How I wish I have their proficiency. With the advent of internet, I am beginning to explore and enjoy my online reads, too, nevertheless the sight, and feel and scent of books is as comforting as my favorite Mexican hot chocolate with chili sprinkle :). One of my hedonistic dreams is to put all my collection of books and novels in one big chunk of space at home all neatly tucked in avant garde shelves . I am afraid that I’m going to have a haven for a library bigger than my house J

Having describe my appetite for reading, writing comes as a second nature. I spent my childhood writing love letters to my mother while she was working away from me and I was left under the care of my grandparents. Later on I discovered poetry writing in 6th grade, a hobby which I am still very fond of until this very day. Currently, I am a member of an online poetry group for 8 years now, and a very pensive blogger at that. Right now, I am toying with the idea of getting into some online product reviews. I am also interested in writing children’s books focusing on matters like friendships, relationships, marriage, separation, adolescent, sex, humanity, death, afterlife, homosexuality even, God, leadership, topics that are usually taboo for kids. Hoping to give them a more substantive definition and presentation, and possibly with real life situations of real people. But my biggest, wildest desire is to write a non-fictional novel about the women in my life, and share their lives, loves, triumphs and tragedies in a book. I imagine myself in my retirement years doing all my writings in my dream brick house somewhere in Tagaytay City, in the company of my playlist, wine or beer, my spicy hot chocolate or café latte, even ice cream with fresh bananas and strawberries. I actually tried to start the first part of the novel in early 2000, the file got corrupted. I just told myself may be it’s not yet time. Thinking about this personal aspiration gives me that castle in the sky feeling. That novel I’ll call “Sagging Breasts”.

I am Taurus. I have a lot of fixations. Music is one of them. I have an increasing collection, a growing menu of genres. I guess, it comes with age … while you remain loyal to certain sounds, your taste bud for music becomes more flexible in the passing of years. My playlist just like my book, I carry with me wherever I go. I enjoy slow rock, pop (jazz and mystical), raw, indie music and RNB from time to time. Even when I don’t play them, I find guitar and saxophone really dramatically sexy. I wished I were in Woodstock, and still wishful, that one day, I can be part of the Love Parade in Germany.

While I adore my friends and love to drink and dine with them from time to time. I am someone who values and enjoys my solitude. I like very much the idea of staying at home. Having said that, I am a bit addicted to decorating my house. I am known to family and friends for having a knack for all things pretty and rare. I am partial to dark wood, glass and ceramics, scented candles, quilts, old fashion claw foot tubs. I love big bold deep Mexican hues, and pastels, and purple is my favorite color. I am not a green thumb but I am passionate with roses, tulips, sunflowers, blue bells and daisy chains. I am contemporary but I am more of an old soul, I adore vintage and retro. I am child like , I don’t like Barbie dolls but I always believed I am Pippi Longstocking :), I am charmed by Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Ziggy, Smurfs, Richie Rich, Little Lulu. Raggedy Ann, Holly Hobby and Pooh bear.

I can’t make them but I am an art aficionado, I am a huge fan of figurative artists like Gustav Klimt and Egon Schiele, an admirer of Norman Rockwell, Duane Bryers, Stella Vines, something vector, digital, watercolor, b&w photography, tattoo and body piercing. Visuals as they may seem but I am equally interested on the stories behind every art work.

I am fascinated with anything elemental. Fairies, witchcraft, spirits, astrology, twin souls, orbs, crescent moon, toad stools, dream catchers, wands, halos, pixie dusts, fireflies, butterflies. I find afternoon rains and sunsets very romantic.

I’m not much into travel. I am bit lazy to do that. But if with good company, I won’t say no for a vacation in Bali, Bangkok, Paris, Spain and the US. Someday may be.

And every man’s downfall, is a woman’s shopping streak. I think can live in shopping malls, in boutiques, in bookstores, in thrift shops.

I am not much into fashion, I go for comfort and hygiene. I love going to the spa for facials, milk baths, paint my toes, make my heels blush, smell like Johnson’s Baby powder I love to pamper my hair with scent and color, work with it on messy buns, waterfall braids, boho bands. I don’t wear much make up but I wear eye liners, light and colorless mascara, lippy in strawberry red and nude, oil free face power, light blush. I love accessories and wedges. I am bag lady, a big bag lady with lots of purses inside. My fashion sense is a little laid back, I can drop dead with oversized white shirts, sleeveless cotton tees, long socks, leg warmers, boxers, torn jeans.

If there’s anything else I want to add up in this long list of hobbies and interests, is to take up running with my daughter, get guitar lessons at home, and learn to crochet.

I was never indifferent to transformation, modification, variation. I chose to work for an organization I heavily criticized during my college years, I transferred, I retired, I tried opposite grounds. At 42, I should be bold enough to do some necessary re-routing with my career path before I write that novel after my second retirement. :)

Graduating with honors automatically gave me that ultimate pass to work for the government under the auspices of Presidential Decree 907 otherwise known as the Honor Graduate Eligibility. In April 1990, I was officially contracted by the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI), under the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP) as a Municipal Trade and Industry officer (MTIO) . As MTIO, I was assigned to the first district of Zambales, organizing agri-based communities into associations and cooperatives, and developing alternative income generating projects for specific rural based beneficiaries.

Olongapo City went through some serious and controversial economic upheavals. After the eruption of Mount Pinatubo and the closure of the US Naval Facility in Subic, my family decided to move back to Cavite. I was already a Trade & Industry Development Industry Specialist II when I made my lateral transfer to the Center for International Trade Expositions and Missions (CITEM), a sister agency of DTI mandated to promote Philippine exports through organized fairs and missions.

From farmers, indigenous people and marginalized members of the society, I found myself working with exporters, industrialists, local and foreign buyers, consultants and embassies and industry associations within and outside the Philippines, domestic and overseas suppliers and contractors of international exhibits, among others. My job in CITEM gave me the opportunity to travel in Asia, Europe and the USA.

I am proud to have spent the formative years of my professional life in government. The negative publicity about government work, to me is possibly just a perception and not a universal truth. In general, my prevalent work ethics and standards, even my current circle of influence, including important lessons as well as very fond memories were drawn largely from the years spent in the bureaucracy. After 15 years from being a junior to senior technical staff, Division to Department Officer-In-Charge, Project Coordinator to Project Manager and Conference Manager, Vice President and OIC of CITEM’s employee association, a string of successful trade events and conferences here and abroad, I retired from the service in 2008. Until this day, I have high regards to all my mentors in DTI/CITEM, I cherish the friendships made, and it is an honor to have served government for 18 years.

A few days after my early retirement, I joined GMA Marketing & Productions, Inc. Short as compared to my stint in government, media and entertainment showed me the other side of the events management industry. This time, our target market is basically the consumers themselves, the direct users of the brands of our advertisers, and viewers of GMA shows. A such, it did not only widen my experience as an events professional, but it also introduced me to a different perspective , and more importantly gave me firm resolved on my career path.

Summarizing the 22 years of my professional work, which is practically more than half of my life, is certainly not a picnic, but aside from my family and friends, my education, my spiritual life, I must say that, my professional endeavors, indeed a significant part of that village that raised me to the kind of person that I am today.

I am now looking for a company that can offer me a bigger room for professional growth that will allow my valued involvement in the cerebral and creative process of events organizing as well as human resource development. It is always a deeply rooted desire to continuously challenge myself even with a job that I have been doing for 19 years.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Followers

Blog Archive