I was firstborn. Thus privileged. It was an advantage point. They were still relatively young and healthy and still have the gift of years ahead of them.
She was a hardworking lady. Graceful. And educated, too. When women in the family were behind the stove, getting pregnant left and right, raising kids, finding paradise but not themselves :( … she was already working as an accountant in Manila. I have to say this in her honor, her DNA runs through to me, and every single cell that contributes to my natural intelligence, I owe to her (sensya naman sa Lolo Tatay, am sure, he’s all in agreement with me).
Five days she shuttled from Tanza to Escolta. On weekends, she has three different sewing machines, ranging from household to industrial. She made really beautiful quilted spreads, all by herself. I was tiny and I always sit in the middle of our 12-seater wooden dining table, facing her, keeping her company, all thought out the night until I doze off, until I feel her tired arms lifting me to bed. Ohhhhhh, there were so many stories.
We watched together long years of beauty pageants, Kahapon Lamang, Lovingly Yours, Annaliza, Flordeluna, Gulong ng Palad, John en Marsha, and many more as she crocheted, embroidered, quilted, stitched … either I was with my dolls or with my puzzles or with my books.
The Greatest Generation. I found their day-to-day outfits like "period movies" or me taking part in a Filipiniana costume ball or a participant in the usual Linggo ng Wika celeb :). Layers and layers of garments seemed too heavy and uncomfortable. But that picture on the boat, they all looked fresh, and light, and not a tinge of discomfort.
I was a child in amazement, each time she tells me of her struggles as a little girl trying to make her way to school. Hiding under the kitchen sink (to do her homework), kilometric walks because she was forbidden to get to her destination … I thought those were just “komiks” material … women being prohibited to get an education. But hell … she did get hers (with flying colors of course). I was already grown when I realized how easy life has been for me or to many of us in my generation. Good education in a silver platter. And the freedom to enjoy it (or even waste it, for some).
And the usual “Big Fish story” … I never felt terrorized, even if some of the stories were scary especially when you're just six years old. I guess, :), that explains my strong pursuit of the underworld, and my unwavering interest on horror stories/movies/ … not to mention that I grew up a sucker for horrific relationships (just a pun ;) )
I got starstruck with her rosters of clienteles. I adored her Manila office. Manila to me at that time was like Manhattan. She used to bring me there for shopping. Little SM … Shoeworld … would you believe it will grow and become a huge business empire? Old Escolta left alone to the memories of its glory days. I always loved Old Manila just like Old Cubao were the traditional Christmas displays in shopping windows of old COD was closed to magical, thus terribly missed, especially by the child in me. Too bad my own daughter was not able to bear witness of the splendor of these lovely , enchanting old things.
I was in college, when I used to ask her how it feels to be old and withered. To have all your hair silver gray. Your skin, dry, wrinkled and sagging. Not to have an office to go to anymore. And your friends, lovers … dead. She dismissed me like a child. One of our lambingan moments.
In her last days at the hospital, 3 years ago. I hardly left her side. I nursed her, slept with her, touched her face and kissed her cold forehead from time to time. Got teary-eyed each time I was looking at her as she sleeps. Knowing it was just a matter of time. I was working on Tita’s laptop when I asked her again that question, this time, she giggled like a child. I hugged her. And she kissed me back.
Third gen has 9 of us: me, Rosemarie, Eric, Lem, Jerome, Egay, Caroline, Franco and Jon Mark. She took care of all 9. Sophia Clarisse came. She took care of her, too. Her generosity, kindness and talent was extended to her calling me up from our townhouse in Moonwalk to CITEM ... guess what ... to remind me to take my pills ... tadahhhh ... my birth control pills. Because of that I never missed one. (My boyfriend then was not very happy about that :) ) But she knew, I had a difficult ... bordering to life threatening labor with Sophie, she and Mama, just didn't want me to go through that again. And that explains her calls, and her constant reminders :)
Sometimes I wish I could account in one story, all the many beautiful, wonderful things that she has been to me. I know it’s not possible at this time.
Old people in my life (when old means passed), when I remember them, it hurts not to have them around anymore. It reminds me that time catches up with everyone of us. That’s how it goes. It has been like that. It will always be that way.
Lola Charing (Lola Ewak to me) passed away early this morning. The youngest in the brood of Lola Meding (Lola Taba to me) The last to go. Lola Ewak and Lola Taba they were sisters ... half ... still sisters ... always sisters.
A generation closes. We will remember with a grateful heart.
For bringing my mother’s generation in this world. Henceforth, mine and Sophie’s.
Salamat po ng madami.
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