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I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.

Monday, April 11, 2011

@ the Flipside

1. I got Thumper, Marie and Tinx. My new pairs of Boxers. Philips In-ear earphones … with purse and purple. Hello Kitty Glass cover for Soph. A pair of Nike training snickers :) and running socks, too.

2. Fayie’s birthday. I was a little late with my greetings. It was almost Sunday and Saturday was my ingress. :( But as a rule, I don’t forget birthdays, especially family’s and friends’. Monday, she made lambing, so I treated her at Pizza Hut Blue Wave.

3. My nephew Ian’s graduation from NKP. I got him and his Kuya, water guns. Too bad I was not able to join them for some home cooked paghetti parteeehhh … I was too damned busy!



4. She crossed the line. Sophie’s first 3K and she successfully hit the tape.


358 507 SOPHIA CLARISS MERZA 14 F 22:04 7:22 3








5. All Star Kapuso Fun Run. Over!

6. F!

This one made me cry. More than half of the film I was picking up myself from bed, getting tissues to wipe my eyes. I could not help but PM Wenggay. I remember she mentioned about that Seyfriend chick flick. But this one is it. But more than cheesy chick, this one's the real thing. It hits you where it hurts :) Raw and real. Happiness is genuine.

My favorite scenes were those of between Morgan Lily and Ryan Ketzner (young Julianna and Bryce). And all the "flipping" scenes. :)



I am the world’s only 40 year old juvenile :) For not being able to accept that yes, I was angry, and I still am. I am twirling because I was trying to fight it back. Doors get shut. Bridges burned. Tables get turned. 360 degrees. Feelings flipped. That fear I could not conquer, the same kisz I ever wanted all of my dear life. The same one I could actually live without. I am smart, spirited, "iridescent" , stubborn and a a little weird. And there’s no bee in my hair. 8th graders are better off than many of us. Juli’s Bryce is not a coward after all.

7. Okay, that's it. I had spotting again. The good news is, I am convinced, gotta get to my OB really quick this weekend.


(Sorry this is such a brief interlude. It had been a toxic week and weekend. I needed all the pain killers and antibiotics I could get. I got home yesterday afternoon, and slept like I was good for dead. I dozed off at 2 PM, 10th of April, and woke up at 8 AM 11th of April. Whewww that was one hell of a sleep ei!)

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