The last 30 years was easy. It was pure, happy childhood memories, and that unfulfilled yearning for each other.
The last 60 days were special . I was sincerely happy and in love with you.
The next 10 days of our last days felt like those 30 years, only hurtful and devastating. You were slipping away. We were drifting apart. Until one day, just when I needed you most, you completely turned your back on me and vanished in my life. In virtual and real terms. Not a word. Not a reply. Not a hint. Not a lie. Not a truth. Just like that, gone.
In a blink of an eye, the man I deeply cared about, and who claimed to have searched high and low for that one special girl he’s been keeping in his heart all his life, and found her and professed his overwhelming love for her, suddenly turned into a cold, remorseless, uncaring little boy.
So what do you think then is left of us. In the remaining years of our lives. After 42, and 41 ... the scent of death by the doorstep, anytime, anywhere ...
Where we left off after 30 years of finding each other was so agonizing … making the next second or minute difficult to even dial a number, send an SMS, buzz my YM or even just ask any of our friends how the hell I was doing …
So,there was us, 30 years later and I was three feet away from you. You could say hello, but you didn't want to disturb the memory. (This was what you should have done, and spared me from all these, and kept our memory in peace. :-( )
Nah, not everyone gets a second chance in this life. Sometimes you have to make the most of your first serving. There’s nothing best left to save for last.
Ashes to ashes, dusts to dusts. Those 30 years was our prep, Those 2 months was our second shot at love and happiness. We suck. And blew it. (God must be very angry at us now.)
I like to remember things my own way. how i remembered them, not necessarily the way they happened. I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. My DeLicioUs ambiguity.
... my other garden ;)
About Me
- Irma
- I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.
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