Last night in Facebook I saw the pre-nup pictorial. I wanted to like the photos but I didn't. Of course, I was happy for Jek. But inside me I know I feel for Marj.
This morning @ the Power Center while having coffee with Beng I told her about the forthcoming wedding. She felt the same stomp on her chest. Marj was her classmate in Grad school. Jek was our youth pastor, my schoolmate in college, lunch mate, a friend. I was part of their story --- Jek's and Marj's. I saw how hard they fell for each other ... how hard they fought for their love. Circumstances were not easy then. But they pulled through. They were one of the few last people I came to see to bid goodbye a day before I offcially left 'Gapo in 1993. Christian love how could that possibly fail? I was sure that I left them in Good Abled Hands. How i loved that couple.
But I was always the one who says life is tricky. Love is a thief. We are powerless pawns to a destiny that is oblivious (and at times, merciless :( ). And isn't it ... time always painfully cruel. Cannot be rushed. Cannot be delayed. No pauses. No rewinds. No fast forwards.
I only saw it's bliss. Beng saw it fell part. Yes, even the most formidable relationships crumble for many different reasons. Mel'dy and Owel. Jen and Jam. Lem and Alou. Mark and Leng. Fay and Enteng. Rebbi and Justine. my dear Ate Lou's. The Tans. The Monsaluds, Kathy's. Cristy's. GerryBoy's 7 years :( ... my own ... and Jek and Marj. A lifetime of shuttling from one broken heart to another. We cruise and carry broken pieces of ourselves like lemon peels tucked in our pockets.
She had a serious breakdown and left the country with a pulverized heart and a mind too empty for answers. She left FB and since then was recluse from college and Gapo friends. They say, and I agree, it doesn't break even ... you know, heart break.
I saw her in a recent photo, she coming home from the States to attend one of their kids' graduation. She looked awful. She was skinny with bulging eyes and a put on smile as cold as the polar vortex. And he is getting married this month to a woman he fell harder for than that one he thought was hard enough. They have four beautiful children though, Jek and Marj.
Jek found his true love. And is marrying her really soon.
I wish him genuine happiness.
... ... ... and Marj ...
I wish Marj genuine healing.
... my other garden ;)
About Me
- Irma
- I'm not a graceful person. I'm not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset. I am a Tuesday 2AM, I am gunshots muffled by a few city blocks, I am a broken window during February. My bones crack on a nightly basis. I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. The way light and darkness mix under my skin has become a storm. You don't see the lightning, but you hear the echoes.
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